


I Fell In Love (Again)

by furyofthetimelords



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romantic Comedy, Social Media, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-04 09:01:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14589582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/furyofthetimelords/pseuds/furyofthetimelords
Summary: “I’ve got a favour to ask  - well, Nick’s friend Abby does technically,” Garrett said. Bram braced himself. “They’ve got this gay friend -”“Are you trying to set me up?” Bram cut in. “Because you know just because we’re both gay doesn’t mean we’re gonna fall in love.”“Not exactly. Simon needs a fake boyfriend,” Garrett said. “And I know that, but, for the record, I think you would like Simon if we were setting up a date. Which we’re not.”“What does he need a fake boyfriend for?” Bram asked.Or, Simon needs a fake boyfriend and Bram agrees to help a fellow gay student out, not realising he might know Simon better than he thought.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This very much an AU, but Based off a mix of book and movie canon - mostly movie, out of personal preference but you'll probably recognise bits from the book here and there.
> 
> Email timestamps are usually just before, or during the scene they preface and will start to become a little more important later in the fic.

**To:** bluegreen118@gmail.com

 **From:** frommywindow1@gmail.com

 **Date:** Nov 11 5:38 PM

 **Subject:** RE: College !!

Blue,

It’s funny, I’ve always dreamed of going to college, to go be as out and gay as humanly possible. But now I’m here, it’s just so surreal. I’m sure you understand - there’s just something freeing about being Out.

I mean, it’s not like I’m walking around campus with a rainbow on my shirt every day, but just knowing if someone asks, I don't need to lie anymore feels good. Like I can do anything. I almost didn’t believe I’d get here.

Thank you, Blue, for making me feel brave enough to come out. I couldn’t have done it without you.

I kind of wish you were here right now, just so I had someone to experience being Out with. Someone who really gets the experience.

Jacques

//

Internally, Simon was freaking out. And perhaps a bit externally too.

“This isn’t funny!” he told his best friend Abby, as she laughed at him. It’s full on, doubled over belly laughs. She looked like she was about to fall over.

Simon felt more and more ridiculous by the second.

“It so is, Simon,” Abby said finally as she finally stopped laughing and wiped away a tear. “Your parents are so sweet.”

“They think I’m seeing someone! That I have a boyfriend!”

“Don’t you?” she asked and gave him a knowing glance. “What about the email guy?”

“No,” Simon said, feeling himself blush at the thought of Blue. He almost regretted the fact he’d drunkenly confessed the whole email story to Abby the week before at a party she’d dragged him too.

He’d first met Blue on a message board for closeted teens when Simon was a senior in high school, one of those places Simon had frequented but never had the guts to post on let alone talk to anyone on until bluegreen118 - now simply Blue - had made a post that Simon had felt an instant connection to.

They didn’t even know each other’s names, having decided to stick to anonymity in case anyone ever found their emails - Georgia wasn’t exactly the best place to be an openly gay teenager.

But despite the anonymity, Blue had been a rock in Simon’s life. He was the one who’d helped Simon finally get the guts to come out to his family. Simon still remembered the conversation - how nervous he’d felt before he’d finally blurted out the truth and felt an incredible weight leave his shoulders. His parents had been good about it, just as Simon had hoped, but it was another thing to actually know for sure.

A month had passed since then, and his parents had joked about finding him a boyfriend and Simon didn’t think they were serious until they’d mentioned that they knew Martin Addison’s brother was gay, and apparently single too. At which point he’d panicked and told them he had a boyfriend already.

Naturally, they’d been very excited and asked about a hundred questions at once, to which Simon had snappishly replied they could as him next time they skyped with him. That had only made them more excited.

“Then just tell them that you’re not seeing anyone,” Abby said. “Confess the truth.”

“You didn’t see their faces. How could I let them down?”

Simon knew logically that Martin’s brother might not be awful, but he didn’t like the idea of his parents intervening in his love life. Just because they’d found one other gay guy out there it didn’t mean Simon wanted to date him. It was just too weird to date someone from Shady Creek, especially someone he probably didn’t have anything in common with besides liking men.

“Then just find someone. I’m sure there’s some guy out there who wouldn’t find being your pretend boyfriend,” Abby said and raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Simon shook his head. “I can’t just ask some random stranger to be my boyfriend for a Skype call - and what if they invite him over for Thanksgiving? I don’t want a stranger in my house. Also, it’s not like I know any other gay or bi guys yet.”

“Haven’t you at least gone to the LGBT social events?” Abby asked.

“Not yet,” Simon admitted. He’d tried a couple of times, but every time he was about to go out he found some excuse not to go. University of Georgia did have a relatively pleasant community out there - Simon had obsessively looked over the facebook page for the LGBT society over and over as soon as he’d gotten his acceptance letter. But he still wasn’t sure if he was ready to try yet.

“Then I’ll find you a boy,” Abby said with a smile. “I think Nick might know someone.”

“Nick?” Simon asked skeptically. “He’s the straightest guy I know. And he’s not even in Georgia currently.”

“Yeah, but he’s friends with that guy Garrett from my stats, who mentioned he has a gay friend. We were thinking about setting you up with him,” Abby replied. “But I guess this works too.”

“Thanks - wait. Set me up?” Simon asked. He was glad he’d met Abby during one of his history lectures, really, but he didn’t know how he felt about her conspiring with one of his childhood best friends to set him up with a guy.

“Simon, you’ve barely even tried to get out there. Shouldn’t college be about being your best self?”

“I know,” Simon said “I just. Wasn’t ready before.”

“Is this because of Blue?” Abby asked, giving him a Look.

“I know it’s stupid, but I can’t help it. I like him,” Simon replied, looking down. He was well aware his crush was hopeless with a capital H, but that still didn’t stop him daydreaming about what it might be like to kiss Blue, whoever he might be.

They’d never even exchanged pictures, and sometimes Simon wondered if Blue might be a catfish, but he didn’t think so. There was something that felt _real_ about Blue, despite all the anonymity. Little things that just felt too real to have been constructed by some creep on the internet.

So, he might not know what he looks like, but what Simon does know is this: Blue is 18, just started college and lived in Savannah and attending college somewhere in Georgia. Now, Simon’s not quite sure where Blue decided to go to college, but he wondered. They’d talked about it in vague terms before - discussing options about which ones were more LGBT friendly than others, daydreaming about being able to move all the way to the more progressive cities like New York or San Francisco.

Sometimes, Simon imagined they’d ended up at the same college - that any guy he saw around campus was Blue. But there’s at least eight colleges near Savannah, and at least eighteen more in Georgia itself (Simon should know. He’d looked it up). So, the chances of Blue going to the same college weren’t exactly great odds.

“Then why not ask him to meet, or at least get a picture?” Abby asked.

“I don’t want to pressure him,’ Simon said. “And it’s worked for us so far.”

Abby rolled her eyes. “Well, suit yourself. I’ve got work to do.”

//

 **To:** frommywindow1@gmail.com

 **From:** bluegreen118@gmail.com

 **Date:** Nov 4 7:00 PM

 **Subject:** RE: College !!

Jacques,

There’s no need to thank me. You’re the brave one here - I only did it a couple weeks ago. You’ve been out a whole month already, which is better than me.  

And I get what you mean - I’m glad I did it. I don’t regret telling my parents, although I wished I could’ve gotten it over in one go like you did. There’s something about coming out to both your parents separately that’s supremely awkward. I don’t regret it though. You were right about that.

I kind of wish you were here too, honestly.

Blue

//

There was a loud knock on Bram’s bedroom door, a second of warning, before his best friend and roommate Garrett Laughlin burst in. “Yo, you decent?”

“Of course I am,” Bram said.

“Had to be sure - didn’t know if you were getting any hot action with some dude,” Garrett said.

Bram blushed. “I’m not hooking up with anyone,” he said. “Why are you here?”

“I’ve got a favour to ask  - well, Nick’s friend Abby does technically,” Garrett said. Bram braced himself. “They’ve got this gay friend -”

“Are you trying to set me up?” Bram cut in. “Because you know just because we’re both gay doesn’t mean we’re gonna fall in love.”

“Not exactly. Simon needs a fake boyfriend,” Garrett said. “And I know that, but, for the record, I think you would like Simon if we _were_ setting up a date. Which we’re not.”

“What does he need a fake boyfriend for?” Bram asked.

“His parents are apparently trying to set him up with this dude from Shady Creek and Simon doesn’t want that. So he apparently lied and said he was already dating someone. And now his parents wanna meet the dude.”

“I don’t know,” Bram said. “That seems a little ridiculous. Why don’t you do it? You already know Simon.”

“Do I look like I could pass as a gay guy?” Garrett asked, gesturing to himself. “I couldn’t. I’m too much of a ladies man. It’s a blessing and a curse.”

Bram rolled his eyes. Garrett hadn’t even been on more than maybe three dates since the semester had started. He was the first person Bram had ever officially come out to - they’d met during the summer at a state soccer tournament and they’d gotten along really well so Bram had decided to come out to him at the end of the tournament. And by luck, Garrett had been pretty cool about it and even suggested they share a dorm.

Bram even considered them best friends by this point - he didn’t really talk to anyone he knew back in high school, all those friendships fizzling out as they all moved to various colleges across the country.

“Come on, I’ll show you what he looks like,” Garrett said, and pulled out his phone. “Here - look.”

Bram looked at the profile Garrett had pulled up - Simon Spier.  Bram had to admit, Simon wasn’t a bad looking guy.

“See?” Garrett said. “He totally looks like your type.”

“I don’t have a type,” Bram argued.

Garrett rolled his eyes. “I’m your best friend. I know you.”

Bram looked away. “I mean. What if I’m already seeing someone?”

Garrett gave him a look. “Is this about that email guy?”

Bram blushed. “No,” he lied.

Garrett didn’t look convinced.

“Fine. Maybe it is,” Bram said, wishing he’d kept his mouth shut about the whole thing.

“Well, you don’t have to date him for real, and doesn’t this email dude not know who you are anyway?”

“I guess,” Bram said, although he felt a little weird about the idea. It almost felt like cheating. Not that there was any sort of actual relationship between them.

As much as he didn’t want to admit it to himself, Bram was seriously getting a crush Jacques - the guy he’d been emailing. It had all sort of happened one day when he’d gotten the message reaching out over his first post on the ClosetLife message boards. It had been a little strange at first to see someone actually respond to his post, but once they started talking Bram had felt an instant connection with the guy. He didn’t even know his real name - a choice they’d made together back in high school and still hadn’t broken the habit of. It was just easier to talk to someone without a face.

He did worry sometimes that Jacques wasn’t actually real - that he was some invented persona of a creep preying on kids, but Bram hadn’t gotten any odd vibes from the guy. At least even if Jacques wasn’t a real teenager, this stranger had finally given him the courage to come out for real.

“So, it doesn’t matter,” Garrett said. “Fake being this guy’s boyfriend  for like an hour and help him out forever. It’s simple - and you probably won’t even need to change your facebook status.”

“First of all, we’re not even Facebook friends, and second, do you think that’s even necessary?”

Garrett shrugged. Maybe not, but who knows?”

“You said it was only a skype call,” Bram said.

“You never know,” Garrett said.

“Are you trying to set me up with him?” Bram asked.

Garrett shook his head. “No, he really does need a fake boyfriend, I swear. I'll get him to message you.”

“I don't know,” Bram said.

“Look - it’s not that bad, and you get to make a whole new gay friend out of it too - Simon’s a pretty chill dude. He’s friends with Nick and Leah, and both of them are cool as fuck.”

Bram thought about it for a minute. It was a little ridiculous, but he did need to find more gay friends - he didn't have any yet (apart from Jacques, but it wasn’t like they could just hang out together for real) and he’d been too shy to even try going to any of the LGBT social events or the resource centre. Maybe this would be a good start.

“Okay, fine. Tell him I'll do it.”

“You’re the best, Greenfield,” Garrett said, tapping away at his phone.

Bram really hoped this wasn’t going to backfire.

//

 **To:** bluegreen118@gmail.com

 **From:** frommywindow1@gmail.com

 **Date:** Nov 6 8:22 AM

 **Subject:** Desperate Times

Blue,

Do you ever accidentally agree to something, knowing full well it's probably a bad idea? Because that's what these 8am lectures feel like, amongst other things. Unfortunately not even this iced coffee can save me now.

Send help,

Jacques

//

“I found you a boyfriend,” Abby said gleefully as she sat down beside Simon in the cafeteria at lunch.

“Already?” Simon asked skeptically.

“Duh,” Abby said. “I said I could find you someone.”

“Who is it?” Simon asked.

Abby pulled out her phone, typing in something before she showed Simon the screen.

“Bram Greenfeld?” Simon said, reading the name out loud.

“Yeah, he's a friend of Garrett's. They share a dorm.”

Simon had never been that close to Garrett in high school. They’d sort of run in the same circle, and got along alright, but it wasn’t more than a friendship born out of the fact they shared a mutual friend in Nick.

“So, do you like him?” Abby asked.

“He's cute,” Simon said, looking over the picture. It was true - Bram wasn't exactly a bad looking guy, according to his profile picture - dark skin, a nice smile and dark brown eyes. The photo looked like had been taken mid-laugh, like someone had snapped a candid right at the perfect moment.

Abby wasn't friends with him, so there wasn't much info to glean off the profile, but the photos were cute. A few of them were action shots from soccer games which showed off some really incredible soccer calves.

“I knew you'd like him,” Abby said proudly.

“You know he's not going to be my actual boyfriend, right?”

“I know, but I think you two would be cute together. And look, I know you're still holding out for that Blue guy, but still. It might not hurt to try.”

“Does he actually want to do this or is this an elaborate plan to set me up?”

“No, Garrett asked already. Bram’s cool with it.”

“Oh,” Simon said. “He knows what this is, right?”

“Yeah, he’s aware of the situation.”

“Good, because I don’t think I could handle that right now,” Simon said. Although it was nice to think a guy like Bram could be into him, Blue was the one he wanted. Even if he didn’t exactly know much about what Blue looked like.

“And it’s not,” Abby said. “So, let me tell you about your boyfriend: he's from Savannah, definitely gay and currently very single. Played soccer in high school, but not anymore. And pretty hot too - Not bad for your first college boyfriend.”

Simon's heart rate picked up at the mention of Savannah. He wondered if Bram had met Blue, or maybe even was Blue, but he dismissed the thought. It was too much of a long shot - Savannah was a whole lot bigger than his hometown of Shady Creek. There were too many people out there and he didn’t know if he could handle the disappointment of mistaking someone for Blue.

“Okay, when are we meeting him?”

“Add him on Facebook,” Abby said. “Make your own plans. This is your fake boyfriend, not mine.”

Simon sent a request, surprised to find Bram almost immediately accepted it.

“I'll message him later. I'm still so tired,” Simon said, thinking wistfully about the nap he was planning to take later that day. Except now he kind of wanted to spend that time looking through Bram’s profile (so sue him. It wasn’t like he was confident enough to just openly check out dudes yet, so Facebook stalking it was).

“An 8am class is good for you,” Abby argued. “Means you can really make the most of the day.”

“Is it really making the most of the day when I need to drink ten iced coffees to survive?” Simon argued. He’d already had two today, and was still feeling like he might fall asleep at any second.

“If you keep doing it you won't need coffee.”

“Impossible. Everyone needs coffee.”

Suddenly, Simon's phone buzzed with a notification - Bram had sent him a message already. Curious, he opened it.  

 **Bram** : _Hey, Garrett told me about your boyfriend problem. I'd be happy to help you out_.

 **Simon:** _Hi :) sorry if it's weird, but seriously, you've saved my life._

 **Bram:** _It's really okay. I don't mind helping a friend of Garrett's._

 **Simon:** _We should meet up soon. Just so I know who my boyfriend is._

 **Bram:** _Good thinking. When?_

 **Simon:** _Coffee Bar tomorrow 2?_

 **Bram:** _Works for me._

Simon sighed in relief. “Abby, I love you,” he said.

Abby smiled. “As you should.”

//

 **To:** frommywindow1@gmail.com

 **From:** bluegreen118@gmail.com

 **Date:** Nov 6 9:43 AM

 **Subject:** RE: Desperate Times

Jacques

I’ve definitely made a few questionable decisions lately, but I like to think that just because I’m doing them for a friend it might not be so bad. Good luck with those 8am classes.

I’ll see you at my 10am starts. :)

Blue

//

 **Simon:** _Hey you coming?_

Bram looked down at his phone, feeling a rush of nervousness. Was he actually doing this? It felt like something that only happened in movies, and even then only to straight people. He should’ve just said no, but Simon was really cute and he did need more gay friends. So, why not enjoy the company of a hot guy and get to know him too? It couldn’t be so bad.

He’d talked with Jacques all the time about stepping outside of his comfort zone, so wasn’t this at least a step forward? It was better than being too shy to ever go out to meet another gay person.

 **Bram:** _I’m almost there._

He took a deep breath and slid his phone back into his pocket, glancing at the sign on the shop to make sure he’d gotten the right one. He knew it was, but checking again somehow made him feel just a little less anxious about this ridiculous thing he was going to do.

Once he was inside, he spotted Simon almost immediately, head down and obviously checking something on his phone. After Simon had sent him a friend request, Bram had admittedly spent a couple of hours scrolling through Simon’s profile. Apparently Simon had only come out recently too, and even then there were very few posts about being gay on his profile. But what he did have were a lot of photos. And sue him for looking through a cute guy’s photos.

“Simon, right?” Bram said as he sat down. “Hey.”

Simon looked up from his phone, looking a little startled. “Bram,” he said. “Hi.”

“So, you need a fake boyfriend,” he said, feeling a little awkward. How did you even begin a conversation about this kind of thing?

“Yeah, thanks again,” Simon said with a nervous laugh. “You’ve just saved my life.”

“It’s fine,” Bram said.

There was a bit of an awkward pause, as both of them tried to figure out what to say next. “Do you want anything?” Simon asked. “I mean, it’s the least I can do.”

“Oh, sure. Just an iced coffee, with milk,” Bram said, thinking about the message Jacques had sent earlier that day about the iced coffees he was apparently living off to cope with his hellishly early starts.  

“One iced coffee with milk coming up,” Simon said, and got up to go order. Bram tried not to feel a little guilty as he walked Simon leave. Of all the people to be fake dating, Simon definitely wasn’t the worst.

As always, when he thought about boys, his mind drifted to Jacques. He knew his feelings were perhaps a little ridiculous, considering he’d never even seen an actual photo of the guy. But that was how their emails worked - anonymous was easier because it was so much better to confess to someone who you never had to put a face to. But despite the lack of pictures or real names, Bram felt like he’d really gotten to know Jacques. Every single time he saw an email appear in his inbox it often took all of his self control not to immediately respond to it - and even then, he’d read it at least twice before composing the perfect response.

They managed to email at least once a day, sometimes more often if Bram sent an email at the right time. It was hard to judge when the other was free once college started, but as time went by Bram was more and more adept at judging the times when he’d be more likely to get another response from Jacques sooner rather than later.

He wondered a lot about meeting - in his head, he had this fantasy that he’d see Jacques and just _know_. That they’d look over at each other and meet eyes, and Jacques would smile, and then they’d walk off into the sunset. Or something. He knew it wasn’t a realistic fantasy in the slightest, but he couldn’t stop picturing it.

“One iced coffee with milk, for Bram,” Simon said and placed the cup in front of him.

“Thanks,” Bram replied, taking a sip. It tasted pretty good - a little cold, but he could see how someone could get sucked into drinking them all the time.

Simon sat back down at his seat, an iced coffee of his own, sans milk, in his hands.

“So um, I should probably let you know I’m sort of into someone?” Simon said after a moment. “Just so you know it’s not like I’m going to get attached. This really isn’t a set up.”

Bram let out a sigh of relief. “Oh yeah, uh, me too actually. It’s sort of a long distance thing,” he said, not feeling too bad because it wasn’t entirely a lie.  

“Oh, wow,” Simon said. “Is he cool with you doing this?”

“It’s not official or anything,” Bram replied, although he did secretly wish it was. Jacques was a funny guy, and always so sweet. More often than not, he had to resist the urge to ask to meet, or reveal too much about himself. He was falling, and hard for this guy.

And besides, would Jacques even like him, anyway? Sure, they’d jokingly flirted before, and he had sent that email saying he wished Bram (Blue) was right there with him, but that didn’t mean anything. Jacques probably thought he was out of state.

But Bram was almost a little sure he and Jacques went to the same school - it was just the little things, but Bram didn’t want to say anything. Not until Jacques said something himself.

“Oh, well, good,” Simon said. “So I should probably warn you about my parents, just so you’re, um, prepared.”

“Are they bad?” Bram asked.

Simon shook his head. “No. if anything they’re a little _too_ supportive,” Simon said. “They’re both democrats and pretty liberal otherwise. So, I kind of always knew they’d be cool, but I didn’t have the guts to come out to them until recently.”

“I know the feeling,” Bram said. “I was so scared when I was coming out to my parents, but they were cool with it.”

“My dad didn’t stop making bad jokes for weeks after,” Simon said, rolling his eyes. “I had to tell him Grindr wasn’t just facebook for gay people.”

Bram laughed at that. “At least they’re enthusiastic.”

“Maybe a little too enthusiastic. I really didn’t think they were serious about finding me a boyfriend until they mentioned Martin’s brother.”

“You don’t like him?”

“I don't know him. If I’m going to date, I kind of wanted to do it on my own terms,” Simon said with a frown.

“So how do you want to do this?”

“We skype every week, so we’ve got a few days to come up with a plausible story. You’re free Saturday right?”

“I don’t really go out much, so that works,” Bram said. “I’m pretty boring.”

“Oh, awesome.”

“It shouldn’t to be too hard, right? It’s just a skype call.”

“They’re going to ask _a lot_ of questions,” Simon replied. “Like I said. Enthusiastic.”

“So, let’s get started. How did we meet?”

“Garrett? I mean, he’s friends with Nick, isn’t he?” Simon suggested.

“The soccer guy from out of state?” Bram asked. It made him think about Jacques, who also had a friend who was out of state. He wondered if there was any degree of separation there.

“Yeah, he’s one of my best friends,” Simon replied. “So, Garrett set us up, which I think my friends wanted to do anyway, so that’s not entirely a lie.”

Brams heart rate picked up a bit. He might be a little (a lot) hung up on Jacques, but he if he wasn’t he might not have minded being set up with someone like Simon. He’d done enough Facebook stalking to know that Garrett was right - Simon was definitely his type. Not that he’d ever admit Garrett was right about this to his face. He’d never live it down.

“Well, I guess a little truth does help. So, we met because of Garrett. How long have we been dating, then?”

“I came out a month ago, maybe a little longer than that?” Simon said. “Any longer and it wouldn’t make sense.”

“That could work,” Bran replied. He tried not to think too much about Jacques, who’d also come out about a month ago, and had frankly been the inspiration for Bram finally getting the guts to do it. He’d tested the waters with Garrett, and then after that had taken a few more months before he’d attempted to come out to his parents. In fact, Jacques saying he’d finally come out gave Bram the confidence to do it only a couple of weeks later. Telling both of his parents had been awkward, but they’d ultimately been accepting. His mom had even started asking if there were any “cute boys” he had his eye on. Bram didn’t know how to explain Jacques, so he never said anything. It wasn’t like he could casually drop he was maybe a little bit in love with a person he’d never met.

“Then we’ve been dating for a month, after Garrett introduced us. Sound good?” Simon said.

Bram nodded in response. “Easy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow here we are, my first fic in this fandom - I've loved the book for years and tbh that movie was Amazing (the first movie I've seen twice in cinemas in aaages), so it was probably inevitable I got involved and wrote something.
> 
> I've got four chapters + an epilogue planned, so hopefully I can stick to weekly updates (I've got some of it pre-written, so hopefully I'll be able to get this done asap).
> 
> find me on tumblr @ [agentalien](http://agentalien.tumblr.com)
> 
> PS. don't necessarily condone messaging strangers online without knowing they're at least an Actual Person - stay safe and all that jazz. This is just a fun little, not too serious fic that's basically constructed to be as ridiculous as possible.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I said weekly updates but I decided I couldn't wait to post this chapter so here, have it a couple days early. Also, I really don't know much about the inner-workings of the University of Georgia, but this is an AU fic and I'm winging it with the knowledge google provided me that's convenient to the fic.

**To:** bluegreen118@gmail.com

**From:** frommywindow1@gmail.com

**Date:** Nov 10 8:15 PM

**Subject:** Procrastination and Oreos

Blue,

I know I said I definitely wasn’t going to email again today, but I’m here now because I have something important to say. I might also be procrastinating on a history assignment. But that’s not the important thing. 

What’s important is that I found a 24 hour convenience store near my dorm that sells almost every kind of oreo. I didn’t even go looking for it - I just wanted a study break and then I saw the display from the window. It was like, freaking destiny or something.

Okay. Yeah, the history assignment might be a bit important. But I’ve got some Halloween Oreos (TEN DAYS after Halloween) now so I feel like I might be able to take on the world. 

How are you coping with college? Sometimes I feel like I’m about to fall apart with all the work I need to do. 

I promise I’m going to go back to homework now,

Jacques

//

Simon slumped down in his desk chair, feeling incredibly frustrated. As much as he wished it would, the history essay wasn’t going to write itself. He knew if he didn’t at least try to finish it tonight, then he’d never get it done. He’d even tried to use Blue’s emails as motivation, promising he wouldn’t heck to see if Blue had replied to his latest one until he’d at least made some progress but his phone had buzzed with the notification and he’d immediately caved. 

It was probably a little embarrassing as to how excited he was to get a new email from Blue, even now after all this time talking. He really was in deep. 

Suddenly, his phone buzzed again, interrupting his thoughts. Simon picked it up, expecting another email from Blue, probably to tell him to just write the essay, but surprised to see Leah was calling.

“Hey, what’s up?” He asked.

“Simon, thank god. Are you busy right now?”

“I was writing an essay,” he said. “Or well, I’m just staring at my laptop with zero new words written.”

“So you could come out tonight?” Leah said. “Abby dragged me to this party but I don’t know anyone here and she’s off talking to someone.”

“Where is it?” Simon said. He wasn’t normally keen on going to parties, but he wasn’t about to knock back an excuse to leave his dorm. 

“At the Basketball guy’s house. Sports people,” Leah said, and Simon could just picture the frown on her face. He and Leah used to make a point of avoiding most sports-related things in High School, the only exception being a couple of Nick’s more important soccer games.

“Text me the address. I’ll be there in a minute,” he said. 

“Thank you, Simon,” Leah said gratefully.

It didn’t take him long to find the place - people were all around, sitting out on the porch smoking, or chatting amongst themselves as they drunk out of plastic cups. A straight couple was making out up against the side of the house. 

“Hey, Speir!” A voice called out, and Simon looked up to see Garrett standing at the door, waving excitedly. He gestured for Simon to come in. A few guests perked up at the sound and waved at Simon too. 

“Garrett, hi,” Simon said. “I’m looking for Leah.”

“She’s out the back,” Garrett said, taking a sip of whatever was in his cup. It smelled strong. “So, I hear you need my man Bram.”

“It’s not like that,” Simon said awkwardly.

“I know, it’s all good. I just wanna make sure you’ll be a good fake boyfriend for him. He’s cool.”

“He is,” Simon said.

“You want a drink?” Garrett said. “The guys have a keg somewhere.”

“I’m good,” Simon said. 

“You sure? Also, I think I left Bram around somewhere. I wanted to get him to come out tonight, but he’s being boring. Looking at his phone all night, and I haven’t seen him in a while.”

“Well, I guess he’s a boring gay like me,” Simon joked. He realised this might have been the longest conversation he’d ever had with Garrett one on one. 

Garrett laughed. “Of course.”

“I’ll go find Leah,” Simon said. 

“Oh, Leah!” Garrett said, like a kid on Christmas morning. “I should find her.”

Garrett wandered off, leaving Simon alone in the hallway. Simon decided it was probably up to him to find Leah. He peered into the living room, where a bunch of people were dancing along to the music playing out of someone’s speakers and grinding up against each other in an incredibly heterosexual way. He noticed Abby sitting on a couch, who gave him a nod of acknowledgement before going back to whatever conversation she was having with a guy in gym shorts.

Simon realised he might need a drink if he was going to get through this night. 

“Simon?” He turned around and nearly collided with Bram. “Why are you here?”

“I’m looking for Leah,” he said. “Garrett was going to show me but I think he got distracted by something.”

“I think she’s outside,” Bram said. “I’ll show you. This place is kind of weirdly laid out. I nearly walked into a bedroom earlier.”

“Anyone inside?”

“Unfortunately,” Bram said. “I saw more than I needed to.”

“Straight people,” Simon said, rolling his eyes. 

Bram laughed. “They are pretty strange. Through here,” he said, and 

“I’m glad someone agrees with me,” Simon said as he followed Bram outside, where a bunch of chairs were set up. Leah was in one of them, looking at her phone. Leah.”

“Thank god, Simon,” Leah said as they walked over to her. Leah’s eyes widened when she saw who he was with. “Oh. Hi Bram.”

“Hey,” Bram said and waved. 

“Leah Burke,” Leah said and held out her hand for Bram to shake. “Simon’s best friend, and I know your friend Garrett.”

“Oh, you’re Leah,” Bram said in a tone that meant something. Simon realised that probably meant Garrett had some sort of crush on Leah. Simon made a mental note to ask Leah about that later. Maybe he could set them up and someone could find love in this mess. 

“Yeah, that’s me,” Leah said. “You’re the boyfriend.”

“Fake boyfriend,” Bram corrected as he and Simon sat down in the chairs beside Leah.

Leah laughed. “How’s that working out?”

“I'm not complaining,” Bram with, shooting a smile at Simon. 

“You know, it could all still go horribly wrong. My parents could hate you,” Simon said, just to be contrary. 

“I'll be the best fake boyfriend ever,” Bram replied. “They'll have to love me.”

“Oh, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.”

“Are you sure this isn't awkward for you?” Simon asked. “This whole dating thing, I mean.”

Bram shook his head. “I already told you, it's fine. I'm doing a favour it doesn't have to be a big thing.”

“You say this now,” Simon said. “God, I really wish I'd just told them I just wasn't interested in being set up.”

“And on that note, I think I’m going to go to the bathroom,” Leah said. “Text me if you two decide you’re leaving to hook up or something, Simon.”

Simon blushed at that and glanced at Bram who just smiled a little. 

“Sure, I’ll see you around, Leah.”

Leah got up from her chair and left their little gathering, disappearing into the crowd inside the house.

“Does Garrett like Leah?” Simon asked.

Bram nodded. “He’s been into her since high school, I think. He hasn’t shut up about her since we started this whole thing.”

“I don’t know if she’s interested,” Simon said. “But I can find out.”

Bram laughed. “That’d be good. Maybe we could set them up,” he said. 

There was an awkward pause between them.

“So,” Simon said, trying to think of something to say. “God...sorry this is awkward. I realise I don’t know you that well yet.”

Bram laughed a little nervously. “It’s fine. We were kind of shoved together by circumstance,” he said.

“You’re cool with this whole fake dating thing, right?” Simon asked, suddenly a little nervous. What if Bram was actually really uncomfortable with all of this now? 

Bram shook his head. “I already told you, it's seriously fine,” he replied. “It’s mostly nice meeting another gay guy on campus without having to go too far out of my comfort zone yet.”

“You say that now,” Simon said, but he was a little relieved with Bram’s reassurance. “I mean, won’t this make things weird with your long distance guy?”

Bram shook his head. “It really isn’t gonna be a problem. We’re not officially dating, or at all really. I just wish we were,” Bram said and looked away shyly.

“I know the feeling,” Simon said sympathetically, thinking of his own crush on Blue. “I really wish I'd just told my parents I wasn't interested in being set up at this point.”

“I once told my mom I was sick just so I didn't have to go to school on a test day and I ended up inventing a whole head cold. I kept it up for a few days just so I didn't look suspicious. She still doesn't know.”

Simon laughed. “At least it wasn't a whole boyfriend you invented - a cold is easier to lie about when it’s just you. I invented a whole other person.”

“No, a boyfriend is definitely better than a cold. I spent way too much time trying to make sure I had a fever,’ Bram said with a laugh. “I probably should’ve just gone to the test.”

“You make a good point,” Simon said.

Suddenly, the back door opened with a loud  _ thud _ . Simon turned toward the sound and a guy wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and a single flip flop was standing at the door. He waved at Simon and Bram. “Yo, you two wanna play beer pong? We need another team.”

Bram looked at Simon. “You want to?”

“I haven’t played since high school,” Simon said, thinking of the first time he got drunk at a Halloween party where he got vomited on by Martin Addison of all people and had Leah help him sneak back to bed so his parents didn’t notice the fact he’d had to ditch his costume. 

“I’m actually pretty good at it,” Bram said. “Wanna be my backup?”

“Of course all that sports you play,” Simon said. “Let’s go win, huh?”

“I like your thinking,” Bram said and turned to the shirtless guy. “We’re in.”

//

**To:** frommywindow1@gmail.com

**From:** bluegreen118@gmail.com

**Date:** Nov 10 8:37 PM

**Subject:** RE: Procrastination and Oreos 

Jacques,

Honestly, I’m kind of jealous of you right now. My friend dragged me to a party and it’s not awful, but I kind of wish I was somewhere else right now. I guess I’m not much of a party guy - I didn’t mind it in high school but now I’m thinking I’d rather be at home eating every flavour of oreo - y’know, a balanced diet. :)

I guess he thought I’d be out there flirting with some guys, but instead I’m here emailing you. Maybe that makes me boring, but I’ll take it. 

And to answer your question, It’s getting better. I mean, it feels like there’s so much going on in college, but I guess my general lack of a social life means I tend to do more work than not.

Do your homework,

Blue

//

Bram was drunk. The beer pong idea might have been a mistake - the basketball guys were pretty sharp with their aim and once the beer had been used up in round two, someone had the genius idea of using vodka. 

So, he was pretty intoxicated to say the least, and not just from the alcohol - having a cute guy like Simon around too was sort of thrilling. 

Simon was funnier than he expected, and it just made Bram think about the complete lack of dating opportunities he'd had. Or at least, the fact he hadn’t really being trying that hard, even now. 

He had tried downloading a few dating apps, even trying Grindr for a minute, but he quickly realised most people on them were much more interested in sexting or hooking up than anything else. Bram wanted a boyfriend, someone he could talk to and care about. Sure, he still wanted to have sex, but the idea of keeping something like that so casual didn’t sit right with him. 

And besides, thinking about sexting just made him wonder what it’d be like to be with like that with Jacques - he’d thought about it more than once, but had never quite had the guts to ask for anything like that. He wasn’t exactly the bold type, anyway.

Bram knew was in deep. It was so stupid, especially considering his he'd just ended up glued to his phone at a party Garrett had dragged him to because he'd heard Leah was going to be there. Garrett had apparently been crushing on Leah since high school, and had decided to embrace this weird opportunity of Simon and Bram fake dating to get to know her better. 

Bram glanced back over at Simon, who was currently drunkenly dancing to the music being blasted out of someone’s bluetooth speaker. God, he really was attractive. It made him think again about what Jacques looked like. Would Jacques look anything like Simon? Or would he have a different kind of beauty?

_ If only they were the same person,  _ Bram thought wistfully. It wasn't likely though - after all, what were the chances? It would be too much of a coincidence, and he was probably just projecting on Simon because he was basically the first out gay guy he’d met in real life. 

“You look sad,” Simon said and flopped down beside Bram on the couch.“Is it because we lost?”

“I think we put up a good fight. Those guys were just unfairly talented,” Bram said. 

“They probably cheated,” Simon said seriously. “You should’ve won for our team.”

“Thanks. You weren’t so bad either when you got that clean shot - zero net,” Bram said, echoing the cheer of the onlooking basketball players when they’d seen Simon take the shot. The shirtless guy who’d roped them into the game had even high fived Simon.

“It was cool, but your shot where it hit like three cups before it went in? Freaking amazing,” Simon said with a grin.

“It was a lucky shot,” Bram said, feeling his cheeks heat up at the compliment. If this were some other situation, he might’ve thought Simon was flirting. It also didn’t help that Drunk Bram kind of wanted to kiss him. But Simon already said he liked someone, so he ignored the urge. Even if it currently kind of sounded like the best idea he’d ever had. 

“And I’m lucky to have you as a fake boyfriend,” Simon announced and laid his head on Bram’s shoulder. 

Bram smiled. “I’m just doing my job. Do you need me to defend your honour or something?”

“Nope,” Simon said, and shifted so he was closer to Bram. They were basically pressed up against each other now. “I think you did fine. I was the one who sucked.”

“Are you okay?” Bram asked, trying to ignore how little distance there was between him and Simon. 

“I feel fine,” Simon said, but he was still leaning pretty heavily against Bram. 

“Come on, let’s go find Leah,” Bram said, desperate to move because he’d probably just end up kissing Simon right then and there if they stayed like this any longer. 

“Yes! Leah,” Simon said. “I love Leah. She’s my best friend.”

Bram pulled Simon up off the couch, which made Simon sway a little as he stood up so he ended up right in Bram’s space. 

Whoa,” Simon said and giggled. “I did that too fast.”

“Come on, I’ll help you,” Bram said, and put his arm around Simon’s shoulders and pulled him against Bram’s side so they could walk together. 

They moved together from room to room, the whole time Bram kept his hold on Simon, making sure he didn’t fall over. Eventually, they spotted Leah sitting outside chatting to Garrett. Bram almost didn’t want to interrupt them because they seemed like they were having a good time. 

“Leah!” Simon said happily. “You’re still here.”

“Heard you got your ass kicked at beer pong,” she said with a smirk. 

“They clearly cheated,” Simon said indignantly. “Did you see it?”

“I was talking to Garrett,” Leah said apologetically. “I meant to find you guys earlier, but we got caught up.”

“Oh,” Simon said. “You really should’ve seen Bram! He was so good!”

“I’m sure he was,” Leah said. 

“Yeah,” Garrett said. “Bram’s always been good at that sort of stuff.”

“See? You best friend thinks I’m right,” Simon said and smiled at Bram.

“I’ll take it,” Bram said. 

“I should get going now,” Leah said.

“Why? We’re at a party!” Simon said. 

“Abby’s already found a hook up for the night,” she said and wrinkled her nose. “I mean good for her, but now I need to get to bed soon.”

“I can take you,” Simon said. 

“You’re pretty drunk, Si,” Leah said. “I’ll take  _ you _ back.”

“Bram, you wanna leave?” Garrett asked. 

Bram nodded. “Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow, Simon.”

Simon’s eyes widened. “Oh, my parents. God. I’m gonna be so hungover.”

“Just drink a lot of water before you go to bed,” Bram said. “You’ll be fine.”

“Thanks,” Simon said gratefully, like Bram had somehow given him the secrets to the universe. “You’re the best.”

“Okay, I’ll get him home,” Leah said. “Come on Si.”

Simon moved out of Bram’s space and Bram let his arm fall back to his side. It felt a little weird not to be holding onto him anymore and Garrett was giving him a look like he was going to ask questions later. 

“Goodbye Bram,” Simon said with a smile. “I’m glad we got to hang out.” 

“Bye,” Bram said. He couldn’t stop smiling.  

“Bye Leah,” Garrett said. 

“I’ll see you around, Garrett. And you too Bram,” Leah said, and left with Simon holding her hand as they walked out. 

“So,” Garrett said, a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Not another word,” Bram replied, but he was still smiling.

Garrett just laughed. 

//

**To:** bluegreen118@gmail.com

**From:** frommywindow1@gmail.com

**Date:** Nov 11 10:00 AM

**Subject:** RE: Procrastination Oreos

Jealous of me? Really? You’re infinitely cooler, Blue. I’m not the one who’s an all-star sports player. And you got to go to a whole party. How was it?

I might have gone out too last night, but only because a friend needed saving. I promise I’ll finish the history essay today. I’m not a quitter.

I don’t think it was lame you were out there emailing me. If I’d been in your situation, I’d have done the same thing.

Definitely on the way to do my homework now (with oreos!),

Jacques

//

Simon woke up with a surprisingly clear head and a glass of water beside his bed. He immediately reached for his phone, checking to see if he’d gotten any new emails from Blue - apparently he’d missed one from last night and tapped out a response. 

He remembered a surprising amount, including when he’d practically draped himself all over Bram. Simon let out a groan. Of course he’d ended up making a fool out of himself in front of a cute guy. Typical drunk Simon behaviour. 

He sent a quick message to Leah, hoping she'd tell him how bad the damage was. 

**Simon:** _ Please tell me I didn't totally mess things up with Bram _

**Leah:** _ What ?! You two seemed like you were having fun last night. Did something happen? _

**Simon:** _ I think not? I just remember leaning all over him.  _

**Leah:** _ Oh, that. It really didn't seem like it bothered him. Stop worrying, Simon! _

Relieved, Simon pushed himself out of bed and decided he'd try and finish that essay once and for all. He put his phone on silent, and tried to focus solely on the role of Lafayette in the French revolution. 

His phone buzzes and Simon nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound. He glances at it - it’s a text from his mom reminding him of their skype call

**Mom:** _Hey honey don’t forget about our special call later - looking forward to meeting your special someone :)_

Simon felt his stomach drop. He’d almost forgotten that today was the day. He felt like he had back in high school on the day of an English test when he’d completely forgotten to study. It felt like such a dumb idea, but the alternative of his parents thinking they needed to find him a guy wasn’t exactly his plan. 

He opened his phone and typed out a quick message to Bram: 

**Simon:** _I almost forgot but mom is calling today. Can you come over at 2?_

**Bram:** _ I’ll be there. _

Simon breathed a sigh of relief and tried to get back to work on the essay, but he kept glancing back at the clock and wondered when Bram would arrive. He resisted the urge to email Blue - trying to explain all of this to him just felt plain embarrassing. Sure, they shared most of everything but Simon wasn’t sure he was ready to admit to the fact he’d gotten himself into such a ridiculous situation. 

Right on two o’clock, there was a knock on his door.

“Hey,” Bram said when Simon opened the door.

“Hi,” Simon said. “You ready?”

“As I'll ever be.”

“Last chance to back out,” Simon said. 

“Nah. This is probably good practice for when I get an actual boyfriend,” Bram joked. 

Simon laughed. “Yeah, come in.”

Bram walked into the room. “Elliott Smith, huh?” he said, looking at Simon's poster-covered wall. 

“You know his stuff?”

“A friend of mine is a fan,” Bram replied. 

“Your friend sounds like they've got good taste.”

Bram laughed. “He does.”

It suddenly occurred to Simon this was the first time he'd had a boy in his room. He wasn't sure what to say next. 

“So, where are we doing this?” Bram asked.

“Uh, sit on the bed with me,” Simon replied and picked up his laptop from his desk before sitting back down on his comforter and leaned against the wall. 

Bram sat down right next to him, leaving little space between them. It reminded Simon vividly of the night before, leaning against Bram as they walked around looking for Leah. He really hoped his blush wasn't too obvious. 

To distract himself, he opened his Skype app, and clicked on the call button for his parents. 

“I'm so sorry in advance for all the embarrassing things they're definitely going to ask you.”

“I'll survive,” Bram said and nudged Simon with his shoulder. 

His parents picked up almost instantly.

“So that's the guy!” His mom said as soon as they appeared on screen. 

“Yeah, this is Bram. My, um, boyfriend,” Simon said. 

“Hey Mr and Mrs Spier,” Bram said, waving at the screen.

“Just call me Emily, and my husband Jack,” Simon’s said. Simon’s dad waved at the screen when his wife said his name. “Simon, I can’t believe you didn’t tell us sooner. He’s cute.”

Simon felt himself turn bright red. 

“I guess I just wanted to enjoy things before I knew it was going to be something,” Simon said as casually as he could manage, glad he’d taken such an interested in theatre in high school. Maybe he should investigate the theatre scene here. “I didn’t want to get your hopes up.”

“Well, we’re your parents. We’re meant to be excited for you. So, Bram tell us more about you.”

“I grew up in Savannah, played soccer since high school and majoring in English,” Bram said. “Not too exciting.”

“So, you’re a sports guy,” Jack said. “I played in high school - quarterback. You follow football?”

“The English version, yes,” Bram replied. “And the local club I play at. I’m not here for college sports.”

“Simon, couldn’t you have found a boy who likes sports?”

“He plays soccer, dad.”

“Real sports, son,” Jack replied jokingly.

“Soccer is a perfectly good sport. Nick plays soccer,” Simon replied. “I can’t believe you’re making  _ me _ defend sports.”

Simon’s parents laughed. “We’re only joking, honey,” his mom said. 

“Well, I need to defend my boyfriend’s honour,” Simon said and smiled at Bram. He resisted the urge to kiss him on the cheek. Bram hadn’t signed up for that. 

“So, tell us everything - how did you two meet?” his mom asked. 

“Garrett introduced us - Nick’s friend,” Simon said, reciting the story they’d come up with earlier in the week. “It was like magic.”

“I saw him, and I just knew,” Bram added. 

“That’s so sweet - was it at a party? I told you going to one of those would help you meet boys.”

“Just around,” Simon said vaguely. “It was kind of funny - I didn’t believe Garrett knew anyone who wasn’t straight at first. But there was Bram.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet.”

“Did I ever tell you about how me and your mom met?” Simon’s dad said. 

Simon rolled his eyes. “Only every other day,” he said and turned to Bram. “I’ll spare you that one.”

Jack and Emily Spier had the perfect heterosexual love story - the high school quarterback falling for the valedictorian. It was all very cliche - they’d even met when Simon’s dad had bumped into her in the hallway. One thing that always amazed Simon about his parents was how in love they still were - most people like that would’ve just peaked in high school. But not his parents. They were still some of the best people Simon knew - even if they were perhaps a little too invested in everything Simon said and did.

“It’s a romance for the ages,” his dad added. 

“It was some sort of meet cute,” Simon explained. “They just met eyes one day and just fell in love.”

“It was more than that - your mother didn’t even like me at first. She thought I was just a dumb jock,” Simon’s dad added. “But I have hidden depth.”

“That you do, honey,” Simon’s mom said and kissed her husband on the cheek, but his dad moved at the last minute and they ended up kissing. 

“Gross,” Simon said reflexively. 

“Hush. You’re old enough to see your parents display affection,” his mom said. 

“It’s still weird,” Simon shot back. 

“So, Bram, what are you doing for the break?” Simon’s mom asked. “Anything exciting?”

“I’m just spending time with my mom. She’s just moved to a new town,” Bram said. 

“Oh, where is she now?” Simon’s mom asked. 

“She’s just moved to Shady Creek,” Bram said. 

Simon had to stop himself from making a surprised sound.  _ Of all the places _ , he thought. 

Simon shot a quick glance at Bram, praying his mom wouldn’t ask the follow up question he knew had to be coming.  _ Please don’t _ , he thought. 

“Oh, if you’re going to be around town you should come over for dinner one night!” Simon’s mom said. 

_ Shit _ , Simon thought. 

//

**To:** frommywindow1@gmail.com 

**From:** bluegreen118@gmail.com

**Date:** Nov 11 10:37 AM

**Subject:** Bad Decisions

Jacques, 

Yes, of course you’re the cool one here. I’m just a guy who played sports once in high school. It’s not like I was a star performer like you. My school didn’t even have a theatre department. 

The party ended up being better than expected. I’m starting to get why you go out so much :) (But seriously, maybe parties aren’t so bad. Or that could just have been the alcohol talking). 

But I’m glad to know my emails are better than a party for you too.

Blue

//

Bram glanced over at Simon, looking for some sort of cue as to what to say next. He’d honestly forgotten that Simon lived in Shady Creek too, and probably wouldn’t have said anything had he known. 

“I'll see if I can fit a visit to my boyfriend’s family into my busy schedule,” Bram joked. 

“We'd love to meet you in person - Simon’s sister Nora too.” Emily said, all earnest. “That is, If your mom doesn’t mind.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Bram said. He wished he’d asked Simon what to do beforehand, but he hadn’t even thought it was a possibility. He felt like a complete idiot for not considering the possibility.

“Oh, would you look at the time - Bram has to go now,” Simon said. “Bye, I love you.”

“Bye Simon,” his parents said in unison and Simon ended the call. 

“Well,” Bram said, looking over at Simon. 

“I’m so sorry,” Simon said. He looked incredibly apologetic.  

“No, I didn’t even think about the fact you lived there too,” Bram said. “I should’ve realised that.”

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to,” Simon said. “I can make something up.”

“I’ll be there all week, and I don’t think your parents would approve. They’d think I was being neglectful or something,” Bram said.

“They’d probably blame me,” Simon said, slumping down into his bedsheets. 

“I really can go, if it’d be easier for you,” Bram offered. Simon’s parents seemed like good people, and he really didn’t want to disappoint them. Sure, he kind of technically was by lying to them by fake dating Simon in the first place, but he wasn’t going to back out now and leave Simon in the lurch. 

“It might be,” Simon said. “But fair warning, my sister Nora is really into cooking and she’ll want to cook dinner.”

“Is she a bad book?” Bram asked. 

“It depends,” Simon said. “She’s apparently gotten a lot better than last time I was home. She watched one too many episodes of  _ Chopped _ and now she wants to become a professional chef.”

“Then I guess I’ll take a chance,” Bram said. Home cooking from an enthusiastic sibling seemed better than just lying around avoiding unpacking all the boxes of stuff his mom had left in the room that was supposed to be ‘his’ in the new house.

“You’re the best, Bram,” Simon said, and pushed himself back up off the bed.“I really thought this would be all over by now. I was planning our awkward, but mutual break up.”

“Obviously I’d be the one to bring it up in the first place,” Bram joked.

“Oh, no way. If I’m faking a break up, I’m not gonna be the dumpee,” Simon replied. “I’m not making myself look bad.”

“If you did, then more people would feel sorry for you,” Bram said. “I’d just be the player who broke your heart.”

“And then my parents would probably try to kill you,” Simon said. “I can’t have that.”

“So you’re trying to protect me from their wrath? I feel loved,” Bram said. 

“You’re still technically my boyfriend, so you should be,” Simon replied. 

Bram laughed. “I guess there's that.”

“So, you're definitely cool with this?”

“Of course I am,” Bram said. “It's something to do during the break. I'd just be doing nothing at home otherwise.”

“You're honestly a life saver,” Simon said gratefully. 

Bram smiled, and got up off the bed, immediately feeling the absence of Simon's body beside him. He tried not to think too much about that, or about the night before when they’d been basically pressed up against each other on the couch. 

“I should get going. I've got a whole lot of assignments I want to finish off,” Bram said, feeling a little awkward. “Bye.”

“I'll see you around, then,” Simon said. “Thanks again.”

It was only when Bram had left the dorm did the reality of how ridiculous everything was hit him. Garrett had joked things would get more complicated, but now here he was, even further into this whole web of lies. He knew he should probably back out, but he’d already made a promise to Simon. And it wasn’t like he minded being around Simon.

He liked to think they were becoming friends, and after all, wasn’t that what he wanted anyway? Besides, he didn’t want to let down a friend. Bram groaned. He had no idea how this was going to play out. 

Not that faking dating someone like Simon would be hard - Simon was attractive in that sweet, boy next store type that Bram had always sort of had a thing for. Not that he’d ever admit it to anyone else, because that would mean Garrett was right about Bram having a Type. He’d be insufferable. 

“Soo….how did it go?” Garrett asked when Bram got back to the dorm. 

“I got invited to his parents place for dinner during the break,” Bram said and flopped down on his bed. “I forgot he lived out there - I didn’t even think about that.”

“Oh, shit,” Garrett said. “At least they didn’t ask you to an actual Thanksgiving.”

“I guess,” Bram said. “But it’s still weird.”

“Do you not like Simon?” Garrett asked.

“No, I do - I mean, he’s great but. It’s so awkward, y’know? I’ve barely spoken to his parents and now they want me to have dinner with them,” Bram said. “It’s going to be a disaster.”

“Nah, bro. The Speirs are cool - I mean, I’ve only met them once but Simon’s family seems chill. You’ll survive this,” Garrett reassured him. Bram was suddenly overcome with gratitude for his best friend. 

“Are you sure? What if I say something and fuck it up?”

Garrett just gave him a look. “Trust me, you’ll be fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and there we go...the drama continues. I'm really having too much fun writing this fic, and thanks @ everyone who's left kudos or commented or even otherwise told me they've been enjoying it. You're all wonderful as hell. 
> 
> Up next: confessions, the Dinner™, realisations and revelations.


	3. Chapter 3

**To:** bluegreen118@gmail.com

**From:** frommywindow1@gmail.com

**Date:** Nov 18 11:45 AM

**Subject:** Holigays 

Blue

It feels weird to be going back home. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love my family but it’s strange not to be hiding anything anymore. I’m basically an open book. I know they’re going to be cool, but I’m honestly bracing myself for them asking me about boys. I guess I’m just dreading the interrogation - you know my family is just kind of like that. Everything is a big deal with my parents. Especially my dating life. 

Hopefully I’ll survive it. After all, it’s just Thanksgiving right?

And guess what! My history assignment earned me a B+. My professor - who I was sure didn’t like me - actually liked it and I’m absolutely saying it was because of those oreos. They’re my essay writing secret. Maybe I’ll bribe Professor Wise with some Oreos directly next time and skip the whole writing an essays part. 

Jacques

//

Simon had forgotten how chaotic packing was. Sure, he had a sizeable wardrobe at home, but all of his favourite stuff was with him in the dorm,so packing it was. Besides, he wasn't going to  _ not  _ take advantage of the fact that his mom had a washing machine he didn't have to pay for. Or not even use himself, if he could get his mom to take pity on him and wash his alarmingly large pile of clothes. 

“Ugh,” he said, after his attempt to close his overstuffed suitcase didn’t work for the third time. He pulled everything out of it again, letting all his clothes fall to the floor. Reorganising them was chaos, but it at least kept his mind preoccupied so he didn’t have to think about the impending dinner. 

He honestly didn’t know how it had come to this - the whole situation felt like it was one big joke. It shouldn’t have gotten this deep, but Simon really didn’t want to admit to lying now. His parents would probably be incredibly disappointed in him and he wasn’t sure he wanted to ruin Thanksgiving break like that. 

Besides, was it so bad if Bram was perfectly okay with going along with it? 

His phone rang, and Simon nearly jumped out of his skin. It was Leah calling, presumably to ask what was taking him so long. Leah didn’t have a car, and Simon was all too happy to drive his friend back home.  

“You need help packing?” Leah asked when he picked up. 

“Yes, please,” Simon said. 

“I’ll be over in a minute.”

True to her word, Leah appeared only a few minutes later.

“You’re literally saving my life right now.”

“I got bored. Also, I feel like we need to talk more about what happened at last week’s party,” Lean said. “How is Bram?”

Simon blushed. “He's fine.”

“That says more than fine. Are you into him now?”

Simon shook his head. “I'm still interested in Blue.”

“You can have more than one crush, Simon,” Leah said. 

Simon shrugged. “I've known Blue for almost a year now. It feels like more than a crush.”

“Oh, Simon,” Leah said and grabbed a pile of his clothes. 

As they packed, Leah seemed a little off.

“I'm bisexual,” she said suddenly. 

“What- wait. Really?” Simon said. He almost felt like he hadn't heard her right. 

“Yeah,” she said.

“Why didn't you say something sooner?”

Leah flopped onto his bed. “I don't know. I was scared, I guess. I figured maybe I should just do it now - get it over with before I waited too long.”

“I know the feeling,” Simon said and sat down beside him. “Thanks for telling me.”

Leah hugged him. “You're the best.”

“Does anyone else know?”

“My mom, since I was eleven,” Leah admitted. 

“You've known that long?” 

“Yeah. I know, I know, I shouldn't have waited, but at first I thought you were all straight and then you came out and I guess it took me a while to figure out how to say something.”

“Well, I can't really judge, I know how freaking impossible it can be. I almost came out to you all twice in senior year.”

“Wait - really?”

“Yeah, the first time was when I was emailing Blue, and I thought one day - fuck it. But then I chickened out when I heard someone make a gay joke.”

“Was it anyone we knew?”

Simon shook his head. “I don't think so. It might've been a football guy. But the second time was the last day of senior year. I thought I'd go out with a bang, but everything else was changing, and I guess I didn't want that to change too.”

“I get that,” Leah said. 

“So….now that I know you're bi, I have to ask: any girls you've got your eye on? Or boys?” Simon asked. He wondered if this was when he’d have to hear about how much she 

Leah blushed. “Maybe. There's this one girl, I guess.”

“Come on, tell me everything,” Simon said.  _ Sorry Garrett _ , he thought, feeling a little bad at the fact he’d probably have to tell Bram this. 

Leah looked suddenly nervous. “It's Abby.”

“Abby? No way. I mean, sucks she's straight, but I guess you do have good taste.”

“Yeah. God, I wish there was some way I could figure out which girls weren't straight so I could only ever crush on them,” Leah said with a sigh.

“Right? I feel so weird even looking at other guys sometimes, because they're all probably straight.”

“Bram isn't, and he's cute,” Leah pointed out.

“Yeah, I've noticed,” Simon said absently, thinking of Bram’s smile. And those soccer calves he’d seen in the Facebook photos. He normally didn’t think too much about a guy’s legs, but there’d been this one photo on Facebook of Bram during a game midway through a kick where he’d looked so powerful and strong Simon had had to click away from the image just so he didn’t end up staring all day. 

“So you  _ do _ like him.” 

“He's just an attractive guy who I think is also pretty cool and not awful, as far as fake boyfriends go.”

“So, a crush,” Leah said. 

“It’s not like that,” Simon said, but then he thought of the party last week when he’d basically been draped over Bram after the beer pong game. He’d be lying if he didn’t think about that moment a lot. 

But, there was Blue. Blue, who’d been there through so much of his life, in the drama of senior year and coming out. Blue, who was perhaps one of the best people Simon knew and treasured every single email he’d had with him. 

Maybe he was overthinking things. 

“Are you sure? You know you’re allowed to crush on multiple people.”

“I am,” Simon said. 

“If you say so,” Leah said sarcastically. Clearly, she didn’t believe him. 

“Come on, are you going to help me or what?” Simon said and shoved a pair of socks into his bag. 

//

**To:** frommywindow1@gmail.com 

**From:** bluegreen118@gmail.com

Date: Nov 20 10:00 AM

Subject: RE: Holigays

I'm sure you'll survive this - after all, you did survive them asking about girls for years. My mom is probably going to give me another one of her sex talks - all about Staying Safe and Being Tested. Nevermind I’ve only been out for a couple weeks and haven’t actually tried to date anyone. It’s not like I’ve really met many hot guys out there.

Also, I can't help but notice your professor sounds similar to one of mine. Is your Professor Wise the one from University of Georgia? 

Blue

//

Bram read the message, almost unable to believe what he’d just read. He closed the app, then reopened it and the email just to be sure it was real. He didn’t imagine reading it.

Professor  _ Wise _ . 

It couldn’t be a coincidence. He’d imagined for so long meeting Jacques, but had never let himself hope that they might be close by. He’d even had this whole romantic idea of going on a road trip to meet Jaques in whatever college town or city he was in and staying for a while. But now he probably didn’t even have to leave campus. 

He wondered if they’d met before. Maybe they’d already met, and Bram had no idea. It made him a little sad to think about that, but it still did mean Jacques was closer than he thought. Bram wanted to laugh - all this time, he’d thought Jacques would be too far out of reach, but yet they’d basically ended up at the same university by a strange twist of fate.

Bram typed out a message response, trying to contain his excitement. He read the email over three times, trying to keep it as casual as possible before deleting the entire thing and writing an email with a short paragraph at the end of it. He didn’t want to over-excite himself. 

He almost hated the fact he was on break, stuck out in Shady Creek while Jacques was who knows where in the state with his family. It was pretty ironic - to know Jacques was usually so close by, but not be able to find him.

Bram’s phone buzzed again and he checked the screen immediately, expecting a reply from Jacques, but it was just a text from Simon.

**Simon:** _ Hey, are you free to meet? I figure we should talk about dinner. _

**Bram:** _Sure. Where?_

**Simon:** _ Waffle House? It’s probably one of the better local hangouts.  _

**Bram:** _ That’s fine. I’ll see you there.  _

“Mom,” Bram called from his room. “I’m going out.”

“With who?” she called back. 

“Garrett and his friends,” Bram lied. It wasn’t exactly untrue, but he really didn’t want to get his mom involved in this too. She’d probably be way too over-supportive and probably buy him condoms or something. And he really didn’t want to deal with that right now. 

“Well, have fun,” his mom said. “Don’t be too late home.”

It didn’t take long for to Bram pull into the waffle house car park - the drive was pretty fast from his mom’s new house. When he got out of the car, he looked in the window and imaged Simon gathered around a table with his friends in high school - talking, laughing and having a good time. For a moment, he imagined it a little differently - himself right there, holding Simon’s hand. 

Bram shook his head and dismissed the thought. He really didn’t need to be getting starry-eyed over Simon now. Even if it might help sell the whole “relationship” thing to Simon’s parents. 

Besides, there was Jacques to think about. How could he just forget how he felt about him? It would feel like a betrayal, even if they weren’t together.

_ But we could be _ , Bram thought, and remembered the email. Professor Wise couldn’t be a coincidence.

Bram spotted Simon almost immediately when he walked in - Simon was sitting in a booth and drinking a coke and scrolling through his phone. He looked pretty preoccupied, to the point where he didn’t even notice when Bram sat down. 

“Hey,” Bram said, and Simon all but jumped out of his head. 

“Oh, hi. Wow. I didn’t see you come in,” Simon said. 

“Anything interesting?” Bram asked. 

“Just, uh,” Simon said, turning bright red. “Nothing.”

“So, a boy?” Bram joked. 

Simon looked away. “I guess so.”

Bram smiled. “So, is this my replacement?” he asked, ignoring the weird twist in his gut.  _ This isn’t real _ , he told himself. 

Simon somehow managed to blush even harder. “I don’t know. I mean, I hope so? Not that you’d be an easily replaceable person - I mean. I wanna be your friend.”

“Me too,” Bram said. “I get it.”

Simon gave him a smile. “This is why I like you. You’re very cool, Bram Greenfeld.”

“I try my best,” Bram replied. 

“So, dinner might be a little weird,” Simon said. “They haven’t stopped asking about you since I got here.”

“I did say they’d love me,” Bram said. “But I’m sorry if this is too weird.”

“I can’t really complain. This is my fault,” Simon said. “I bought this on myself.”

“You’ll survive this,” Bram said. “It’s not like they’re asking you about girls.”

Simon laughed. “That’s true.”

“My mom used to try and give me ‘intercourse’ talks in high school,” Bram said. “It was possibly the most awkward thing in the world.”

“Did you ever have any girlfriends?”

Bram nodded. “One - she was in one of my classes. I went out with her for a couple of weeks and didn’t even try to kiss her. She dumped me.”

Simon laughed. “Harsh.”

Bram shrugged. “It was fair. She moved on pretty fast.”

“So, tell me about this guy you like,” Simon said. “I don’t get to talk guys with anyone really. I mean, not with anyone who gets it - well, apart from this guy I like but I can’t tell him that.”

“He’s great,” Bram said, the thought of Jacques bringing a smile to his face. “I haven’t seen him in a long time, but he’s probably the best person I know. Sometimes I wonder if I’d still recognise him.”

“How long have you known him?”

“Since high school,” Bram said, trying to keep it vague.

“Same, actually,” Simon said. “Do you ever feel like it’s a little hopeless to like him? I mean, you seem like you two make long distance really work.”

“We make time for each other,” Bram said. “It’s not easy guessing when he’ll be online, but we talk basically every day.”

Simon paused to consider this fact. “I talk with this guy a lot too. Sometimes I think he's flirting, but I can't tell.”

“What kind of things does he say?” Bram asked. 

Simon went bright red. “Just that he wishes I were there with him, and compliments me a lot. But what if he's just being friendly?”

Bram smiled a little sadly. “I know the feeling,” he said, and thought about all the times Jacques had said nice things about him. It made him wonder. 

“I just don't know if it could work, y'know?” Simon said.  

“You'll never know if you don't try,” Bram replied. 

“I guess. I know I like him, but the thought of putting it out there scares me.”

“Then you should do it,” Bram said. “Put it out there at least. He might feel the same way.”

“Then you should do it too,” Simon said. “If I’m doing it.”

“Deal,” Bram said. Now that there was a good chance Jacques went to Georgia, it wasn’t like he was so far out of reach. Maybe he could at least go on a date with Jacques. 

“Let’s shake on it,” Simon said, and held out his hand.

Bram shook it. “Then let’s do this,” he said. 

He really hoped it would work out. 

//

**To:** bluegreen118@gmail.com

**From:** frommywindow1@gmail.com

**Date:** Nov 20 6:03 PM

Subject: WISE ?? ? 

Blue,

No freaking way do you go to Georgia too! I honestly can't believe it and I'm just sitting here wondering how I got so freaking lucky. I didn't even realise I'd typed that, just so you know this wasn't some plan to figure out where you go. 

And, now to address the elephant in the room: Can I meet you sometime? I promise I'm a student, not some random internet creep. I know it might be weird, but Blue you're one of the most important people in my life. I want to see you.

We’ve spent so long talking here, and it’d be pretty stupid of me to say I don’t know you at this point. But, knowing now you're at the same college does remind me that there's parts of you I don't know - who your friends are, where your favourite coffee spot on campus is. How you look when you laugh. And I'd really like to get to know those parts. 

I guess, I just want to say I like you, Blue. I hope that’s not too much for you, but I wanted you to know. I guess, maybe you’d feel the same way?

Love,

Jacques

PS. I almost typed my real name, but I figure we’d have time for that when we meet. If you want to. I mean. No pressure.

//

Simon read the email once. And then twice. Then a third time, just to be absolutely sure. 

His response came out rushed and in the kind of sentence fragments that would make his high school English teacher scream. He paused a second to take a deep breath, then deleted the email and wrote another one with slightly more composure. 

He looked at the draft, ready to send it but he thought about what Bram had said earlier.  _ You'll never know if you don't try _ . Simon typed another paragraph and before he could think too much about it, he added a  _ Love  _ to his normal sign off and hit send. 

For a minute, he felt like the entire world was holding its breath. He couldn't believe he'd done it. 

He leaned back in his chair, unable to hide his excitement. Simon felt like he was a kid in Christmas morning all over again. Forget friends and family, this year Thanksgiving he was thankful for unintentional slip ups in his emails. 

Blue went to his college.  _ Blue _ , the person he told basically everything to, wasn't done distant stranger. He was a student at Georgia too. 

Simon wanted to scream from the rooftops, he was so happy. It should not have happened - in fact, with his luck he'd expected Blue to live on the other side of the state at best. Never had he really let himself believe they could've gone to the same school. It made him wonder if he'd met Blue before - had he seen him around campus before? Spoken to him in the flesh?

Simon tried to conjure up an image of what Blue might look like, he but realised he didn't care all that much. He already had a little bit in fallen in love with Blue just from his emails. 

He wanted to be back at college right now. Instead, he was uselessly stuck at home and unable to see or find Blue who’s probably somewhere in Savannah now with his family. Simon resisted the urge to send a follow up message asking Blue to skype right away. He didn’t want to seem too over-eager, even if that was what he was.

“Simon,” his mother called from the stairs. “When is Bram coming?”

Suddenly his good mood dimmed. Just a little. How was he going to explain any of this to his parents? They already seemed to have decided Bram was here to stay, and he felt bad about the fact they’d have to “break up” so soon. 

“Seven,” Simon called back. He looked back over at his computer, Blue’s email still open on the screen.  _ They’ll survive _ , he told himself. His parents would just have to deal with the fact he’d probably be dating someone else. Except this time, it would be real. 

Of course, there was always the possibility that Blue didn’t like him, but Simon thought he might be in with a chance. He closed his eyes and tried to picture when he’d meet Blue. Eyes meeting across a crowd, and a knowing smile exchanged. The way it would feel, being beside Blue in real life. 

How it would feel to kiss him. Simon imagined it would be pretty great. Sure, he’d kissed girls in high school, but he didn’t think any of that really counted. He didn’t like, or even love those girls in any sort of romantic way. At first, he’d wondered what the big deal with kissing was, until he’d stumbled on a video of two guys kissing online and suddenly it was all he could think about for weeks after. He liked to think kissing Blue would be about as good as that, if not better.

He immediately sent a text to Abby, Leah and Nick asking them to skype. 

**Simon:** _ Skype. Now. Please.  _

He got the group call notification from Leah almost immediately after he sent the text. He clicked it and Abby, Nick and Leah appeared on the screen. 

“Simon! What’s going on?” Leah said. 

“Yeah, what the hell is up man?” Nick said. 

“Blue goes to Georgia,” Simon said all in a rush, unable to contain his excitement.

“Holy shit!” Abby said, “No fucking way.”

“That’s so cool!” Leah said. She then sent approximately 300 confetti emojis to the group chat. 

“Yeah, but what about that other guy - Garrett’s friend?”

“Nick, I already told you. Simon isn’t actually dating him,” Abby said with a roll of her eyes. Simon still found it weird that the two of them talked without him. He was glad they got along, but it was still strange to see Abby interacting with Nick when they’d never met in person before. 

“Oh yeah I forgot about that part. I thought you were still setting them up for real.”

“No, we moved past that. And I guess it doesn’t matter now because Blue goes to Georgia.”

“Do you know who he is yet?” Leah asked. 

Simon shook his head. “Nope,” he said. “But I know he’s out there now.”

“What if he’s someone you already know?”

Simon shook his head. “I think I’d know if I’d met him before.”

Leah rolled her eyes, but didn’t say anything else. 

“Just because I didn’t know Cal Price was bi in high school doesn’t mean I’m totally clueless.”

“Please,” Leah said, with a roll of her eyes. 

“She is right,” Nick said.

Abby nodded. “I have to agree,” she added.

“I can’t believe you’re all ganging up on me like this,” Simon said. Of course all of his friends would do this.

“We’re just looking out for you,” Abby said. 

“Simon protection squad 20k forever,” Leah said. “We’re a team.”

“It’s for your own good, dude,” Nick said. 

“Maybe,” Simon admitted.

“So, what are you going to do about Blue?”

“I asked him to meet,” Simon said. “Bram convinced me to do it.”

“Wow,” Leah said. “I thought I’d have to talk you into it.”

“We had a whole speech planned,” Abby admitted. 

“Were you in on this too Nick?” Simon asked.

Nick shrugged. “I’ve heard about it, but that was all them.”

Before Simon could argue, the doorbell rang. Bram was here. Simon’s heart rate picked up. 

“I should get going,” Simon said. “Bram’s here.”

“Say hi to him for us!” Leah said. 

“And thank him too,” Abby said. “I can’t believe he talked you into confessing.”

“We had a deal,” Simon said. “I should get going now.”

They all said their goodbyes and Simon took a deep breath.  _ Time to put those high school theatre skills to use _ , he thought to himself before he opened his door and walked downstairs.

Bram was standing at the door, dressed in a nice blue shirt. It made Simon think about Blue all over again and he felt his cheeks turn red. 

“Hey,” he said to Bram, and made a show of hugging him at the door. Bram returned the hug, and was a surprisingly good hugger. Simon tried not to think too much about his conversation with Leah before he’d left.

“Hey,” Bram said, the word practically whispered in Simon’s ear. Simon tried not to shiver.

Leah would probably be laughing at him if she could see him now. 

“Oh, you two are so sweet,” Simon’s mom said. She “Hello Bram.”

“Mom,” Simon complained. He knew she was just being supportive, but it still felt weird to have his mom get excited over his ‘relationship’

“Hi Mrs Spier,” Bram said and pulled away from Simon to shake her hand. 

“I’ve already said call me Emily,” Simon’s mom said. 

“And please, call me Jack,” Simon’s sad said as he came in from the study. “Hey Bram.”

“Hi, Jack,” Bram said and shook his hand. “You’ve got a nice home.”

“Nora! Come and meet your brother’s boyfriend,” Simon’s mom said. “She’s in the kitchen.”

Nora poked her head out. There was a splatter of red - probably marinara sauce - on her cheek. “Hi, Bram,” she said with a smile. 

“Hey,” Bram said with a smile. “What’s for dinner tonight?”

“Homemade lasagna,” She said. “I found a recipe on the food network website.”

“Sounds great,” Bram said. He shot a look at Simon, presumably to ask if it was a safe dish to eat.

Simon smiled reassuringly. His parents had apparently tested this one out a week or two before, and even Simon’s dad had said he’d eat it again. Simon had always tried to support his sister’s ventures, even if her skills weren’t always up to par. She was stubborn though, and persisted through all the spat out food and overcooked dishes.

A timer buzzed, and then Nora disappeared back into the kitchen. 

“Dinner will be ready soon, come sit down,” Simon’s mom said. “The dining room is here.”

“So, is this one safe to eat?” Bram whispered when they’d sat down. 

“I think so,” Simon said. Although he thought Nora’s cooking was probably the least of his worries tonight. 

//

**To:** frommywindow1@gmail.com

**From:** bluegreen118@gmail.com

**Date:** Nov 20 6:34 PM

**Subject:** RE: WISE ?? ?

Jacques,

Yeah, I definitely go to Georgia. It’s strange to think you’ve been so close this entire time - that I might have even passed you by in a hallway or something. That we might have even met in passing before.

I do want to meet you - maybe after the break? It’s kind of intimidating. Finally meeting you. I don’t want to disappoint you. Maybe it's stupid to feel that way, but you're you, Jacques and that's more amazing than I can put into words.

I like you too, Jacques. I guess I never thought much could happen because you seemed so far away. But I want you here. 

Love,

Blue

//

“So, you two thought about what you’re gonna be thankful for this year?” Emily asked. 

“I’m gonna be thankful for Underhill’s 24 hour convenience store,” Simon said. 

“And why is that?” Emily asked patiently, like she was used to Simon 

“Because they’ve got the  _ best  _ oreo supply in the country. Possibly the world,” Simon declared. “Every single kind of oreo you can think of, it’s there. And so close to my dorm too.”

“You eat too many oreos,” Nora said. “They’re not  _ that _ good.”

“You’re just jealous because you’ll never make anything as good as an oreo,” Simon said.

“They’re just sandwich cookies,” Nora replied and rolled her eyes. “Nothing special.”

Simon gasped in mock offence. “Mom, I can’t believe you’re just letting her say this.”

The conversation continued around Bram, but he wasn’t paying attention. He was still stuck on the convenience store oreos story.  _ No way, _ he thought.  _ It can't be.  _

It just wasn’t possible. But. Simon was a newly out gay student, clearly from Georgia, had a Professor Wise for history, and even liked Elliott Smith. All things he had in common with Jacques. They added up. 

He realised the chances of this being a coincidence were pretty slim. He just had to accept it - Jacques wasn't just some anonymous student at the University of Georgia. Jacques was  _ Simon.  _ The chance of it happening were outright impossible, but yet here he was with this realisation that felt like it had tipped the world upside down. 

Bram wanted to laugh - how many times now had he wished Simon and Jacques were one person? And it turned out that insane wish had come true. He felt like he'd won the lottery. 

“And you Bram?” Emily said.

“Huh?” Bram said, caught off guard. Did they know?  

“What are you thankful for?” Emily said. 

“Oh, um, I haven’t thought about it much,” Bram said, flustered. He looked over at Simon -  _ Jacques - _ who gave him a curious look. “But I guess I’m thankful for the people I care about.”

Simon made a show of grabbing Bram's hand at the dinner table. Bram tried not to think about how his heart felt like it was about to leap out of his chest. Did Simon notice how clammy Bram's hands suddenly felt?

He thought about the email Simon had sent him late last night - and the one he’d sent this morning.  _ I like you _ , Jacques (Simon) had written. Not to mention the sign off -  _ Love _ , Jacques. Not just Jacques. And, of course, the conversation the day before where Simon had gushed about how he felt about this guy he liked. 

_ That’s me, _ he thought.  _ I’m the guy he likes. _

It made him want to scream. Here they were - Simon and Bram. Jacques and Blue. He wanted to say something, but the thought of saying it here, right in the middle of Simon’s house made him feel nervous. He didn't need an audience to his confession. 

Besides, Simon thought he was into someone long distance - a mystery boy he talked to all the time online. Saying something might actually confuse him. 

How had he not seen it before? In hindsight, there were little clues all over the place. The Elliott Smith poster in Simon’s dorm, the fact that 'Jacques’ had sent a message about being dragged to a party the same night Simon had shown up at the basketball guy’s party. He should've seen it then. 

Sure, passing moments had made him pause, but Bram had thought he'd just been seeing what he wanted to see. At least, he realised, he didn’t have to worry about the problems a double crush could pose anymore. Simon and Jacques were the same person.

Dinner carried on, Simon talking and laughing with his parents and Bram cutting in occasionally, but he was distracted. Did Simon know already? Bram thought back to some of the things he’d said in recent emails - all details Simon might have picked up on if he’d payed attention. 

He wondered if Simon would be disappointed it was him. Sure, Simon had outright admitted to liking Blue, but would he still feel the same way if he found out it was the guy he’d been fake dating? 

Bram didn’t know what to do. On one hand, he could confess the truth, but on the other, they were going to officially meet once the break was over. Maybe a few extra days would give him time to think about things. 

“Okay, so me and Bram are going to go upstairs for a while,” Simon said once dinner was over. He grabbed Bram’s hand, and stood up. Bram followed. 

“Leave the door open,” Emily said. 

“Mom,” Simon complained. 

“Simon,” Emily said and gave her son a look. 

“Fine,” Simon said.  

As they walked upstairs, Bram wondered if this was when Simon was going to say he’d worked out who Bram was. His heart started beating faster in his chest.

Once they were inside Simon’s room. Simon left the door half open and flopped down on the bed. Bram stood there a little awkwardly, taking the sight of Simon’s childhood room in. It looked a lot cleaner than it might have been, but there was something so  _ Simon _ about it. 

It made him think about how bland the room back at his mom’s place looked currently - bare walls and only a few personal items here and there. Most of his stuff was in his dorm, or still in cardboard boxes he’d been planning to unpack before the break ended. 

“Sorry for putting you on the spot like that,” Simon said. “I just wanted to take a break for a bit.”

“It’s cool,” Bram said. “I like your posters.”

“Thanks,” Simon said. “I meant to take a lot of them with me, but I kind of suck at packing.”

Bram laughed. “Me too. I can never decide what I’m supposed to bring - I always overpack.”

There was a pause. Bram looked over at Simon, who looked like he was about to say something. Bram’s heart skipped a beat. Was this it?

“So, I took your advice,” Simon said. 

“Oh?” Bram said, totally caught off guard. 

“I told him I liked him,” Simon said with a smile. Bram recalled the email he’d received before dinner that he’d barely been able to contain his excitement about. He remembered how he’d almost fallen off the bed when he’d read the  _ Love, Jacques  _ written at the end. 

“Did you get a response?” Bram asked, but he already knew the answer. He’d basically written back as soon as he’d gotten email. It made him want to blush, thinking about the things he’d confessed in the email. How he’d almost written his name at the end before second-guessing it and deciding he’d find out who Jacques was when they met in person. It felt a little more romantic like that - to have said everything in person rather than to have relied on the medium of emails.

Simon smiled wider. “I did,” he said. 

“And?” Bram said. He felt suddenly nervous. Was Simon going to say something now? Bram felt a little nauseated. He hadn’t even had time to prepare for this. 

“He likes me too. We’re meeting after the break,” Simon said with a shy smile. 

Bram felt his heart sink a little bit.  _ Simon doesn’t know _ , he realised. Of course, Simon wouldn’t know. It was stupid to think he’d realised it at exactly the same time as Bram. There wasn’t going to be some romantic moment. He realised he’d probably need to outright tell Simon.

He almost did. The words were right there, on the tip of his tongue -  _ I’m Blue, Simon. _

But he couldn’t do it. Not right now, when he’d only just figured it out. Bram needed time to process this whole situation before he made a move. Impulsivity just wasn’t his thing. 

“I thought he was far away?” Bram asked. 

Simon shook his head. “It’s funny, he’s closer than I thought he was,” Simon said with a smile.  

_ You have no idea _ , Bram thought. “I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks for getting me say something,” Simon said. “I don’t think I would’ve otherwise.”

Bram smiled. “You’re welcome.”

“So have you talked to your guy yet?” Simon asked. 

“I’m working on it,” Bram said. Clearly, when he actually got the guts to say something he’d definitely have a lot of explaining to do.

“You should talk to him,” Simon said. “Hopefully he’d like you to. I mean, he’d probably be an idiot not to.”

_ You’d know _ , Bram thought, but didn’t say out loud. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we've finally updated! I almost posted it sooner, but chapter four is hard and I've been preoccupied this week. Though, fun fact, I did end up re-reading Simon vs the Homo Sapien's Agenda again when I had a minute. It's also given mea few ideas about more fics I wanted to write for these two. Probably something magical next bc I love a good AU involving some kind of fantasy or sci-fi element. Stay tuned. 
> 
> Up Next: important conversations and the Truth of the matter. 
> 
> find me on tumblr @ [agentalien](http://agentalien.tumblr.com)
> 
> PS. Thanks again for all of y'all who've been reading, giving kudos and commenting so far. It's all so so so lovely and you're all Fantastic <3


	4. Chapter 4

**To:** bluegreen118@gmail.com

**From:** frommywindow1@gmail.com

**Date:** Nov 21 8:57 AM

**Subject:** Face to Face

Blue,

I’m back at college on Monday (Obviously), so if you want to meet this week, I’ll be free. Or later, if you don’t want to do it right away. But I can’t deny I’m really curious about you now - I keep wondering if I’ve seen you before. If I’d recognise your face. 

I want to know you - in real life. Not just through these emails, which have meant the world to me. 

Love, 

Jacques

//

Simon read, and reread his email before he finally sent it. His heart felt like it was beating a million miles an hour - he still couldn’t believe it. He was finally going to meet Blue  _ and  _ Blue liked him too! Simon felt like he was floating - how could his life be so perfect? He honestly couldn’t have imagined a more perfect ending to this story. Or, perhaps it was a beginning. 

_ The beginning of me and Blue in real life,  _ he thought, and kind of wished he had a proper name to attach to Blue. But, he supposed, it could be worse. 

As he walked downstairs to breakfast, Simon couldn’t help the ridiculous grin on his face as he thought about finally meeting Blue. It was like Christmas and his birthday had come all at once. 

“You’re in a good mood this morning,” his mom said when she walked in. Simon looked up from the toast he was buttering. She was smiling at him. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Simon asked. “It’s a beautiful day.”

“I take it you and Bram had a nice time last night,” his mom said. “You were gone a while.”

Simon blushed at the implication. He and Bram hadn’t even been kissing - just talking away from his parent’s curious ears. He’d been too excited not to tell Bram about the confession he’d gotten from Blue - it was a secret that was practically begging to be told. “We were just hanging out.”

“You don’t need to hide anymore, Simon,” his mom said. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to lie to us.”

_ You don’t know the half of it _ , Simon thought. He felt his good mood dampen just a little at the reminder of the fact he was actively lying about his relationship status to his parents. In light of this confession, he wasn’t sure what the hell to do about their impending ‘break up’. He realised in light of the confession from Blue, he might have had to accelerate that a bit. 

“I know,” Simon said.

“I was worried about you, I’ll admit,” his mom said. “When you first told us, I worried you might have been lonely out there, at your new school. But I suppose I shouldn’t have been.”

“I was fine being single,” Simon said. “I mean - I like being with Bram, but I wasn’t unhappy not dating.”

“I know - god knows how many times I’ve told you relationships don’t equal happy. But I guess every mother just wants her son to find love. You two look happy together, and that’s all I ever wanted from you.”

“I just want things to work out,” Simon said. He felt even worse now - he hated letting his parents down and this would probably actually upset them. They’d probably try to check in on him every day and he’d have to fake being sad. He was a passable actor, but he had no idea how he’d keep that up. Especially if Blue was in the picture. 

“I’m sure it will,” his mom said. Simon suddenly couldn’t finish the toast in front of him. 

“I’m gonna go message Bram - see if he wants to hang out today,” Simon said and got up from his seat. He left the plate of toast where it was, too busy to really think about it in the moment. 

His mom smiled at him. “Have fun, Simon.”

As soon as he got to his room, he called Abby. 

“Abby, I fucked up,” he said when she picked up the phone. 

“What did you fuck up this time, Simon?” Abby asked. “Did your parents decide they hated Bram after all?”

“No, it’s the opposite,” Simon said. “They love him too much - I can’t fake break up with him now.”

“Then why not wait it out?” Abby said. 

“I can’t - I’m meeting Blue when I get back from break,” Simon said. “I can’t tell them about that after all of this. They’ll hate  _ me _ and then refuse to let me use the internet at home ever again. I’ll have to go to the library.  _ In Public _ .”

“You’re overthinking this,” Abby said. 

“My mom gave me an entire speech this morning about how happy she was to see me happy,” he said. “If they find out I lied, they’ll hate me.”

“Okay, now you’re really overthinking everything,” Abby said. “They’re not going to hate you just because you didn’t want to be set up with a stranger.”

“I lied to them about it, that’s what will make them mad. They hate lying.”

“Then why did you bother with this in the first place?”

“It seemed like a good idea at the time and now they like him and and I’m starting to think  _ I  _ might like him too and ugh. I can’t do this.”

“Did you just say you might like Bram too?”

“No,” Simon said.

“You so did. I knew you’d get along with him,” Abby said. “Don’t deny it.”

Simon thought back to the conversation he’d had with Leah just before they’d left for break -  _ You can have more than one crush, Simon _ . So, maybe he did have a bit of a crush on Bram. But there was Blue - if there was anything he was sure about, it was that he liked Blue. That wasn’t in dispute. 

However, he couldn’t deny there was also something about Bram that made him want to get closer, to really know the guy and probably, maybe, kiss him. Bram was just attractive, that was all. Just because they also really got along and Simon might have wanted to kiss him didn’t have to mean anything. 

Besides, Bram liked someone else. Someone long distance. It didn’t matter Simon maybe had a tiny, small crush on him. Not to mention the fact Simon had assured Bram there wasn’t any chance of him developing any sort of crush on him when they’d first met.

He wanted to slap his past self, in hindsight. 

“Only if you won’t tell Leah. She’ll never stop laughing at me,” Simon said. He didn’t think he could take how smug Leah would be about this. He loved her, but she definitely wouldn’t miss and  _ I told you so _ moment.

“Are you going to tell Bram?”

“There’s no point - he’s into someone else, and I’ve got Blue. It’d just make everything weird,” Simon said. 

“But what if that was a lie?” Abby said. “Maybe he likes you too.”

“No. It’s not like that,” Simon said. “And I like Blue. Whatever I’m feeling for Bram is gonna pass - it’s just because I haven’t been around many other gay guys before.”

“If you’re sure, go for it. But don’t make any mistakes just because you think you owe someone else something,” Abby said. 

“I’m not,” Simon said. If there was anything he was sure about, it was that he liked Blue. Blue, who’d been there for him for years, funny, smart and brilliant Blue who always seemed to downplay how smart he was. Blue, who knew all the right things to say. 

How could Simon  _ not _ fall for a guy like that?

//

**To:** frommywindow1@gmail.com

**From:** bluegreen118@gmail.com

**Date:** Nov 21 10:21 AM

**Subject:** RE: Face to Face

I want to see you too. I will admit I am worried about meeting. Will things change too much when we finally see each other face to face?

I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t want to lose you, Jacques. You're so important to me and I'd hate to ruin things between us. I will meet you, I promise, but I can’t help my anxiety.

Love, 

Blue

//

“So, how's your romantic vacation going?” Garrett asked when Bram arrived at the Waffle House. 

Bram looked down at the table. “Um.”

“Oh,” Garrett said with a suggestive tone to his voice. “Give me all the details, bro.”

“Simon is the email guy,” Bram said all in a rush. He looked up to Garrett's shocked expression. 

“What?” Garrett said. “Why didn't you text me last night?”

“I didn't find out until after dinner.”

“That's pretty fucking incredible, bro. Simon being your online soulmate.”

“Yeah,” Bram said with a smile.  

“So, you two together now? Do I have to give him a Talk?”

“He doesn't know yet,” Bram replied. 

“Wait, how?” Garrett asked. 

“He said something at dinner last night - a story I recognised from his emails. It added up.”

“So why haven't you said anything?”

Bram looked away again. “I didn't want to make things weird.”

“Didn't you say you were going to meet him?”

“Yeah, before I knew who he was.”

“So you don't like him now?”

“No - I mean, what if he's disappointed it's me?” Bram confessed. 

“He'd be a pretty big idiot to be disappointed in you,” Garrett said confidently. Bram wished he had that sort of confidence in himself. 

“What if he thinks it was all done sort of ploy?” 

“It'd be a pretty big leap,” Garrett said. 

“I don't want him to hate me,” Bram said with a sigh. “He means so much to me and I can't lose that.”

“You won't,” Garrett said. “Simon's a good dude. He'll understand.”

“I don't want to risk it, but he wanted to meet and I already said yes before I figured it out.”

“Well doesn't that help?” 

“It's only going to be weirder.”

Garrett leaned over the table and placed a hand on Bram's shoulder. “Dude. Just stolen doubting yourself. Besides he's said multiple times he likes this email guy. Which is you, by the way.”

Bram felt his cheeks heat up. “Yeah. But what if he only likes the emails? It's not like he has a crush on me anyway. I mean, the real me.”

“You've talked basically everything with this dude haven't you? Then he knows the real you anyway,” Garrett said. He patted Bram's shoulder once more and leaned back in his seat.

“I guess you're right,” Bram said. 

“I always am,” Garrett replied. “You should call him now and say something.”

“I don't know,” Bram said. “I feel like that'd be too much.”

“If you did, then you'd probably have a real boyfriend right now.”

“You're awfully optimistic about this.”

“Look at it this way - this is a guy who's already said he liked you, and you clearly like him. What have you got to lose?”

“Maybe I shouldn't meet him. Give myself time.”

“Bro, you're absolutely not going to do that,” Garrett declared. “You, Bram Greenfeld, will absolutely meet Simon Spier and date the hell out of him.”

“But, worst case, what if he hates me afterwards?”

“Worst Case? You get sad about it for a while, but you'll move on. I'm sure there's plenty of hot gay guys out there that would love you. But, for the record, I think you're being a dumbass.”

“I'm just considering all my options,” Bram argued. 

“No, you're trying to talk yourself out of a good thing,” Garrett said. “This is absolutely going to end in a gay fairytale happily ever after that fucking Disney is gonna want to get the rights to.”

“Then would you talk to Leah?” Bram said. 

“I already did,” he replied. 

“Oh?” Bram said, surprised. 

“It didn't go well,”  Garrett said. “It didn't go well, but it's fine.”

“Sorry, that's rough,” Bram said. “When did you do it?”

“Last night. She said she had feelings for someone else,” Garrett said. 

“That’s kind of rough.”

Garrett shrugged. “Yeah, it sucks, but I mean, at least I tried, y’know? Which, is what you should do now. Take your shot, Bram.”

“Getting rejected has made you wise,” Bram said with a smile.

“I’ve always given you good advice,” Garrett said. “Especially when it comes to dating.”

“Sure,” Bram said. “But, I mean, I do appreciate it man.”

“You’re welcome,” Garrett said. “Although if you hadn’t, I’d have half a mind to tell Spier myself.”

“Why?”

“Because you wouldn’t, and I’m not gonna let my best bro miss out on a chance at love just because of this.”

Bram had no idea what he’d do without Garrett. 

“Come on, let’s go order,” Bram said. “I’ll buy you waffles for your advice.”

“Have I ever mentioned how much I appreciate you lately?”

//

**To:** bluegreen118@gmail.com

**From:** frommywindow1@gmail.com

**Date:** Nov 27 8:57 AM

**Subject:** You

Blue,

I can’t believe I’m going to meet you tomorrow. I can barely sleep, honestly. I know I should get some rest, but I can't stop thinking about when we're gonna meet. 

I almost never thought I'd get to see you in real life, but here we are. I know you’re nervous about it, but I want you to know you could never be a letdown. 

I'll be at the coffee shop we agreed on at 3pm, and you'll find me in a blue denim jacket and a dark green hoodie underneath (okay, I couldn't resist). I'll probably be the only person there not desperately drinking coffee or typing away at a laptop. 

I can't wait to meet you. 

Love,

Jacques

//

Simon felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest at any moment. He glanced around nervously at the coffee shop, looking for a sign of Blue. But everyone else around him were either talking to someone else or engrossed a laptop.

He wondered again what Blue might look like. Tall? Short? Dark haired or light? But, he resolved, it didn't really matter. Blue was Blue, and Simon wasn't going to reject him based on anything as superficial as looks. 

Simon glanced out the window for the hundredth time and spotted Bram outside, and he gave him a quick polite wave when they locked eyes. But Bram didn’t pass by, instead he walked into the coffee shop and directly toward Simon’s table. 

Simon looked at the clock. He wondered when Blue would get here. They’d agreed to meet soon, and how would it look if he was there with some other guy? Sure, he’d normally never turn down an opportunity to hang out with Bram, he didn’t know how he felt about having his fake boyfriend meet his hopefully real boyfriend. 

“Hey,” Bram said. There was a weirdly nervous quality to his voice. Simon glanced at the clock again. When would Blue get here, and what would he think, Simon being here with? Would he think he'd been led on?

He really didn't want to give Blue the wrong impression. 

“Hi,” Simon said. There was an awkward pause and Bram looked like he wanted to say something. He seemed to take a deep breath and sat down. Simon almost wanted to object, but he didn’t know how to say it. It felt kind of rude, and he didn’t want to snap at Bram.

“So, how are you?” Bram said finally. 

“I'm good,” Simon said and wondered where this was going. “You?”

“I'm fine,” Bram said. “But better now I'm here.”

There was something about the tone of his voice that suggested something else.

_ Oh _ , Simon thought _.  _ He kind of hated himself for the little thrill he felt at the idea of Bram liking him. But the moment didn’t last. What would Blue say if he walked in on another guy confessing his feelings for Simon?

“I almost didn't come,” Bram continued, oblivious to Simon’s thoughts. 

“What?” Simon said, confused. Had Bram been following him or something? He'd never thought of Bram as the stalker type, but then again it wasn't like he knew Bram that well. He glanced at the clock again. When would Blue get here?

“I was nervous, I guess,” Bram said. “It's stupid, I know.” 

“I, um. Bram,” Simon said. He had no idea what to say. He’d never had to reject someone before. Especially someone he might not have if circumstances were different. He really hoped Blue wouldn’t walk in right at this moment. 

Bram didn't seem to catch on to what Simon was saying. “I thought if I told you, you'd think it was weird.”

“I'm waiting for someone,” Simon blurted out. He couldn't let this go on any longer, even if part of him wanted to listen to everything Bram said, Blue be damned. 

Bram blinked. “Oh,” he said and blinked. 

“Yeah, um, it's kind of a date?” Simon said. He hated how it came out like a question. 

“Simon,” Bram said, a whole different tone to his voice.

“What?” Simon asked. 

“You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?” Bram asked. 

Simon shook his head. “No, I do,” he said. 

Bram looked relieved. “I didn't want to disappoint you. Not after all this time,” he said. 

“What?” Simon said, totally caught off-guard. “Disappoint me?”

“I know I'm probably not what you expected,” Bram replied. “I mean, it’s a little weird, isn’t it?”

“Wait -  _ expected _ ?” Simon asked. Suddenly, he realised he had no idea what Bram meant.

Bram looked at him. “I can't believe you're this dense.”

“What? I don't know what you're talking about,” Simon said. 

“ _ Jacques a dit _ , right? I didn't get this wrong?” Bram asked.

Simon froze. “Wait,” he said. “How did you know -  _ you _ .”

Simon nearly fell out of his chair.  _ No freaking way,  _ he thought. 

“Hi,” Bram said again. 

“ _ You? _ ” Simon said. His head was spinning.  _ Of all the people _ , he thought. 

Bram looked away. “Yeah.” He looked a little like he was about to throw up. 

“You. Blue. Bram. Blue,” Simon said. “You’re  _ Blue _ .”

“That's me,” Bram said, he looked like he was about to laugh. If Simon had been less shocked, he probably would’ve taken mild offence. “Bluegreen118 - Bram Louis Greenfeld, Birthday January eighteenth.” 

Simon blinked. “No.”

“No?” Bram echoed, his smile fell off his face. “Well, I guess I should go.”

Bram started to stand up. Simon’s bran suddenly caught up to him and he reached out before Bram -  _ Blue,  _ his mind supplied,  _ freaking Blue -  _ could get away. He couldn't let him leave after he dropped a bomb like this. 

“Please don't go,” Simon said.

Bram didn't move any further out of his seat.

“Sorry that didn’t come out right,” Simon said apologetically. “I guess this is a lot to take in.”

“Are you disappointed?” Bram asked again, he seemed a little less excited now, but not as hurt as he’d sounded before. 

“Disappoint - why would I - No, I'm really not,” Simon said firmly. “That’s the last thing I feel right now.”

“Oh,” Bram said and blushed. He sat back down.

Simon shook his head.  _ Get a grip Spier _ , he told himself. “I guess I didn't think I already knew you. It’s a bit of a shock.”

“Me either,” Bram said. “I almost didn't come.”

Simon reached out his hand. “Well I'm glad you did,” he said. He almost couldn’t believe it. Bram, sweet, wonderful (and incredibly hot) Bram was  _ Blue _ . 

Bram started to smile again. “I thought you'd stop liking me if you found out who I was.”

“Why would I be disappointed with someone like you?” Simon said with a frown. Bram was basically perfect, so what was there to be disappointed about? 

“Because I'm just me,” Bram said and looked down shyly. 

“But - you - you’re  _ hot _ .” Simon inelegantly spluttered, and turned bright red when he realised what he’d just said. He was probably being stared at by every other patron in the coffee shop.

“So are you,” Bram said, but he was definitely blushing. 

“Why weren't you surprised it was me?” Simon asked, suddenly recalling how calm Bram had been up to this point. 

“I um, already knew?” Bram said. 

“Wait - when?” Simon asked, caught off guard. 

“That dinner at your parent’s house - the oreo story,” Bram said. “After that, I realised there were a lot of things that made sense.”

Simon blinked. “Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked. Had Bram really known all that time and not said a word?

Bram shook his head. “I don’t know how to say it,” he admitted. “I thought it might be weird.”

“It wouldn't have been weird at all,” Simon said. He still couldn't believe it. “We wasted that entire  _ week _ .”

“I still worried,” Bram said. “You mean a lot to me.”

Simon felt his cheeks heat up again. It was one thing to read the words on screen, but it was a whole other to hear them said out loud. 

“You mean a lot to me too, Bram,” Simon said honestly. He meant it - all their emails had been such a lifeline in high school, and gave him the confidence Simon never thought he’d achieve.

Bram smiled shyly. “I’m glad it was you,” he said.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I mean, I did sort of have a crush on you before I knew who you were,” Bram said. “I used to wish you were the same person.”

Simon blushed. “I did think you were pretty hot too, but I didn’t want to think about it because I was sort of in love with the guy I’d been emailing.”

Bram laughed. “It’s kind of insane how it’s worked out.”

“You’re telling me. I can’t freaking believe I got so lucky,” Simon said and reached out to hold Bram’s hand. His hand was warm and soft. Simon almost couldn’t quite believe how good it felt to be holding Bram’s hand. He’d never thought it could feel like this. 

Simon really wanted to kiss him now, but there were too many other people around. Though with the way Bram was looking, he didn't know if he could wait. “Let's get out of here - go for a walk,” he said. 

“Sure,” Bram said. He seemed to catch on to what Simon was saying. “Let’s go.”

They held hands as they walked out of the coffee shop. Simon felt like he could die happy right then and there. 

“I want to kiss you right now.” Bram said once they were away from the crowds around the coffee shop - they’d ended up in a relatively empty street. There was nobody else around. 

Simon turned to him. “I want to kiss you too.”

“So do it,” Bram said. His eyes dropped to focus on Simon's mouth. It made Simon feel brave. He took a step closer to Bram. They were barely inches apart now, and everything in Simon screamed to get even closer. 

“Bram,” Simon said, barely a whisper. 

“Simon,” Bram replied and put is hands on Simon’s wasit, fingered curling into  the fabric of his jacket. Simon placed a hand on Bram’s shoulder, and pulled him closer so their bodies were basically presses against each other. His heart rate picked up. 

And then they were kissing. Simon felt like he was going to explode. He’d kissed girls before, sure, but nothing had felt like this. He practically saw fireworks. 

“So,” Simon said when they pulled apart. He felt light-headed and giddy, just like christmas morning.

“Yeah,” Bram said, resting his forehead against Simon’s, his mouth curved into a smile. Simon paused for a moment just to take the sight of Bram in. 

_ He's so freaking perfect,  _ Simon thought and leaned in to kiss Bram again.  

//

**To:** frommywindow1@gmail.com

**From:** bluegreen118@gmail.com

**Date:** Nov 28 3:35 PM 

**Subject:** RE: You

Simon, 

I know you’re not gonna read this until you see me, because I scheduled this to arrive after this is over. 

I just want to say, even if you’re disappointed. I’m not. I’m glad I met you - both as Blue and the real me. It’s been an experience - like I’ve fallen in love with you twice.

Maybe you'll reject me and hate me forever. If so, I guess I understand. But, I like to hope that might not happen. 

Love,

Bram

//

Bram wanted to pinch himself, just to prove what was happening was real. He rested his forehead against Simon’s and closed his eyes for a second longer after their second kiss. He’d kissed girls before, sure, but he’d never kissed a guy. It felt electric and  _ real _ in a way he’d never gotten with any of the girls who’d kissed him in high school.  

“Wow,” he said breathlessly when Simon pulled away for the second time. 

“Wow?” Simon said.

“Yeah, wow,” Bram repeated.  

“I can’t believe I haven’t done that sooner,” Simon said. 

“Well, I guess you can make it up to me now,” Bram said. He couldn’t believe he was so confident now. Maybe it was something about Simon that made him brave. As Jacques, Simon had inspired him to come out. 

“And how should I do that?” Simon asked, already leaning closer.

Bram kissed him. “Like that,” he said. 

“Oh, well in that case,” Simon replied. “I guess I don't mind.”

Bram didn't know how long they stood there, in their own corner, kissing and touching each other. It was probably the best moment of Bram's life. 

“So, uh, I should ask, what should we do now?” Simon asked. “I mean, what are we?”

“Well, I'm all in if you are,” Bram said, his heart beating a million miles an hour in his chest. He almost couldn’t believe he was asking this. He’d daydreamed about this moment for so long the reality felt alien, but no less wonderful. Perhaps even better, because it wasn’t just an elaborate fantasy.  

Simon's smile was almost blindingly bright. “Really?”

“Of course,” Bram said. 

“Then I guess you're my boyfriend,” Simon said, his grin impossibly wider. 

“Boyfriend,” Bram repeated with a smile that was probably just as ridiculously huge as Simon's. “I can definitely get used to that.”

“Good,” Simon said, and gave Bram another kiss. This one lasted a little longer than the others and Bram had to pull away just so he didn't start getting a boner in public. 

“We should probably go somewhere more private,” Simon said, a little breathless. It made Bram's heart skip a few beats when he realised that meant Simon was just as affected by their kissing. 

“Your dorm?” Bram suggested and immediately blushed. “I mean, not that I wanna rush things but Garrett's probably in my dorm and I know you've got a single.”

“That I do,” Simon said. “Let's go.”

They didn't let go of each other the entire walk there. 

Once Simon shut the door to his dorm, he moved right into Bram's space and pushed him gently up against the wall before kissing him again. This time, it was deeper and more intimate than the kisses outside. 

This time, Simon took his time. Bram kissed him back just as slow and sure. It made his blood feel like it was on fire - a flame heating him from the inside out. 

He felt himself getting harder and pulled back for a moment. “We might need to go a little slower. Just for now.”

“Oh, sure,” Simon said, blinking. “I don't want to pressure you. I mean, we’re both new at this.”

“Not that I don't want to, but I don't have a change of clothes and I'm not walking back to my dorm like that,” Bram said, blushing. He felt like he'd been doing that all day. 

“Oh - yeah, that,” Simon said, his face bright red. “Wanna watch something on my laptop?” 

“Sure,” Bram said.

Simon moved over to his desk and grabbed the laptop off it. There was an empty oreo packet beside the computer. 

“Is that where you used to email me from?” Bram asked. 

“Oh, yeah. Or on the bed on my phone,” Simon said. 

Bram could picture it easily - Simon sitting at that desk composing a witty email about a grand Oreo adventure, or something insightful about being gay. 

“I've got Netflix, if there's something you want to watch, or YouTube. Not to mention my download collection.”

“How about something with a happy ending?” Bram suggested. 

“I’ll see what I can do,” Simon said. “Oh, and I've got Oreos too. What flavour? I’ve got them all”

“The Halloween ones are my favourite,” Bram said. 

Simon walked over to his cupboard and pulled out a packet of Halloween Oreos. “I'm glad I've got Underhill's for stock.”

“I take it you've raided their Oreo display thoroughly?” Bram said, noting the several other packets of Oreos in the cupboard stacked haphazardly on top of each other. It was such a Simon thing to do. 

“Of course,” Simon said. He handed the packet to Bram. Bram took it and grabbed a cookie out of the package. 

Simon sat down on the bed and gestured for Bram to sit beside him. It made Bram think about the last time he was in here, sitting beside Simon and faking being his boyfriend. Now, here he was, Simon's  _ actual  _ boyfriend. 

Instead of just sitting awkwardly close like last time, Bram shuffled as close to Simon as he could get, and leaned his head against Simon's shoulder. 

“This is nice,” he said softly. Bram couldn’t have imagined a more perfect moment - finally meeting the guy behind the emails and not only that, becoming his  _ boyfriend _ . He knew he’d remember this moment for the rest of his life. 

Simon turned his and kissed the top of Bram's head. 

“Alright, something happy and gay coming right up,” Simon said and pulled up Netflix on his laptop . “So, how do you feel about Harry Potter?”

Bram smiled. “Sounds good to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, so here we are! The fic is over - well, almost. The main story is done but there's an epilogue to follow, which I'll have done soon (shouldn't be too long bc it'll be shorter than these chapters). 
> 
> As always, thanks so much to everyone who's been reading so far + commented/given kudos/otherwise told me you liked it. Y'all are Wonderful and I appreciate it all so much. <3 
> 
> find me on tumblr @ [agentalien](http://agentalien.tumblr.com/) // [rebloggable post](http://agentalien.tumblr.com/post/173728623579/new-fic-i-fell-in-love-again)
> 
> PS. I've also got another fic for these two coming up that'll be a standalone magical realism thing. So, keep an eye out for that soon.


	5. Chapter 5

_ Simon Spier _ is with  _ Bram Greenfeld _

November 28, 2017

In a Relationship with  _ Bram Greenfeld _

November 28, 2017

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_ Bram Greenfeld, Abby Suso _ and 103 others 

//

_ Feburary 2018 _

“Hey,” Simon said when he pulled up to collect his boyfriend. 

“Hi,” Bram said and leaned in to give Simon a quick kiss. “How's your day been?”

“Busy, but at least that essay is done,” Simon replied, and started to drive off.  

“I'm proud of you, babe,” Bram said. 

“How was soccer training?” 

“Productive - think we’re gonna win next weeks game,” Bram replied. 

“I’ll cheer for you in the stands,” Simon said. It was almost funny - just a year before, he’d never even considered going to any kind of sports event for fun, but now he’d been dating Bram he’d actually started to get into soccer. 

“You’re making it really hard not to kiss you right now,” Bram said. 

“I can pull over,” Simon said, already on the lookout for a spot to pull over. 

“We’ll be late, and Leah will actually kill you,” Bram said.

“That is true,” Simon said. He’d promised Leah weeks ago he’d turn up to the first LGBT social she’d helped organise. She’d finally come out publicly as bisexual, and had thrown herself into the local scene and started to create a group to help organise socials for LGBT people living in Athens. Simon couldn’t have been more proud of her. 

The drive there was quick enough - thanks to light traffic and Bram’s excellent navigation skills with google maps. 

“Are you ready for this?” Bram asked when they’d parked. 

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Simon said. Despite his desire to go, it was sort of nerve-wracking to actually be there. Even though he’d had months of being out, and dating Bram, this felt different.

“Then let’s go,” Bram said and got out of the car. He met Simon around the other side, and held out his hand. Simon took it and held on tight - both excited and nervous all at once. 

Leah noticed them the moment they opened the door to the community centre she’d managed to wrangle into hosting the events on a monthly basis. Simon honestly couldn’t have been more excited for her when she’d called him about finally getting the space. 

“You’re finally here,” Leah said and hugged both Bram and Simon when they walked in. She had a bi flag pin on her shirt. 

“We said we were going to come,” Simon said. 

“Good, because everyone’s already here,” she said, a huge grin on her face, and ushered them into the room. There was a small crowd of people inside - some sporting pride flags or some other visible sign that they weren’t straight and/or cis, others meanwhile were less obvious. Simon felt a something dislodge in his chest - it was so surreal to be here. He’d always wondered what it would be like to go to a GSA meeting in high school but Shady Creek hadn’t exactly been the most progressive of places.

“Simon  _ Spier _ ?” Someone said, and Simon looked up to see a surprisingly familiar face. 

“Ethan?” he said. Ethan Moore, one of the few openly gay guys from Creekwood High - in fact, he was one of the first guys that had come out in their grade. Simon had often wanted to talk to Ethan, just to make a friend and possibly come out, but he’d never had the guts to do so. “I didn’t know you went to Georgia.”

“I didn’t know you were gay,” he said and looked between Simon and Bram pointedly. 

Simon smiled. “Yeah,” he said. “I’m gay.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re finally out of the closet,” Ethan said. 

“You knew Simon in high school?” Bram asked. 

“Of course I did. We had a few classes together,” he said. “And not to mention, Creekwood wasn’t exactly a large school.”

“Oh, wow,” Bram said. 

“So, how did y’all meet?” Ethan asked. 

Simon laughed. “That’s actually a funny story,” he said. It was also his favourite story to tell - he’d even eventually told his parents the full story, emails and all, who’d found it entirely hilarious. After they’d stopped laughing, they had told him they weren’t actually  _ that _ serious about setting him up with Martin’s brother. But Simon couldn’t complain about it since, he’d actually gotten a boyfriend out of all the whole deal. 

“Oh, do tell,” Ethan said. “I like a good love story.”

“Well, we first met online,” Simon explained. “I saw this post on ClosetLife and I guess, I just had to talk to the guy.

“Ah, ClosetLife,” Ethan said. “ _ That _ takes me back.”

“You were on there too?” Simon asked. Ethan was always such a bon

“Oh, of  _ course _ ,” Ethan said. “I feel like it’s basically a Southern Gay right of passage.” 

“That is true,” Bram said. “I spent all of my time on there. I was obsessed.”

“So, how did you both end up meeting offline?” Ethan asked. 

“Well, that’s where the story gets weird,” Simon said with a laugh. “So, my parents were trying to set me up with Martin Addison’s brother…”

He explained the full story - how one lie had spiralled and he’d ended up dragging Bram into it, all the while emailing back and forth with no idea who the other was. 

“Wow,” Ethan said when Simon was done. “That certainly is dramatic. You really had no idea Blue and Bram were the same person?”

Simon shook his head. “Not a clue,” he said. He’d re-read all the emails since, and Simon honestly wanted to slap his past self for not picking up on all the clues. 

“It was actually pretty funny how long it took him to get it,” Bram said. “I showed up and everything but he thought I was just passing by.”

“I take it you’re the smart one in this relationship, then?” Ethan said. “Beauty and brains - wow, Simon. I’m impressed.” 

“He definitely is,” Simon said and kissed Bram on the cheek. 

“You two are just adorable together,” Ethan said and clutched his chest. “I’m happy for you, Simon.”

“Thanks. You know, I always wanted to talk to you in high school,” Simon said honestly.

“Well, you should definitely catch up with me and my boyfriend Hugo sometime,” Ethan said. “He’d be here tonight, but unfortunately he’s all the way in Atlanta at the moment.”

“Oh, how long have you been together?” Simon asked. He’d admittedly never added Ethan on Facebook though he’d often wondered about reaching out once he’d finally come out as gay. Maybe it was time to rectify that. 

“Almost a year - we met last summer,” Ethan said, his smile happy and bright. Simon felt a warm and happy - it was nice to see Ethan had survived high school so well and come out on top. Nobody had exactly been nice when Ethan had first come out in sophomore year, facing the brunt of the teasing and taunting. He’d still managed to stand tall against it - always having some quick, witty remark to shoot back at whoever was trying to hurt him. 

“Wow, that’s a pretty long time,” Simon said. He was glad it had worked out for Ethan - here, he seemed to stand  just that little bit taller, like the weight of all that bullying had finally lifted and he didn't need to worry. It was a good look. 

“Sometimes it feels like I’ve known Hugo forever,” Ethan said, a warm smile on his face. Simon had never seen him look like that in high school. It made him wonder if he looked similarly floaty when he talked about Bram. Probably. He never missed an opportunity to gush over his amazing boyfriend. 

Simon looked over at Bram. “I know the feeling.”

//

_ Ethan Moore  _ sent you a friend request.  _ Simon Spier _ is a mutual friend.

You accepted Ethan's friend request. 

//

Bram felt warm and light as he walked back to Simon’s dorm for the night - everything about the party had been perfect. Although, it had been long and he was starting to fade a little. Thankfully, the walk to Simon’s dorm from the car park wasn’t so far, and the dorm itself easy enough to get into. 

Technically, Bram was supposed to leave by 2 am, but nobody had to know he usually left well after visitation hours had started back up again. Besides, Simon had lucked out and didn’t share his dorm, and while Bram loved Garrett, he didn’t want to involve his best friend in his love life. There were some things you didn't need to share with a best friend. 

“You know, this will be so much easier when we finally move out of the dorms,” Simon said when they got into his room. He pressed a kiss to Bram’s cheek.

“I can’t wait. Tonight was pretty good,” Bram replied honestly and gave Simon a brief, intimate kiss. He wished every night could be like this - and it soon would be. Once the year was over, they'd planned to move off campus and share an apartment, just the two of them. Bram couldn’t wait - he'd landed a job at a bookstore while Simon had somehow managed to get a job at Underhill's (probably because he'd kept showing up to buy oreos so often), so they’d been saving everything they could to prepare. It felt like life had finally started to come together all at once, like some perfect fairytale.

“It was fantastic - I’m so proud of Leah,” Simon said and walked over to his makeshift dresser and tossed Bram a clean shirt. “I can’t believe she’s only been doing this a couple months. But, it  _ is _ Leah - I don’t know why I would expect anything else.”

“It was pretty unreal,” Bram said and changed into the shirt - grey tee with a Hogwarts crest on the front (one of many Harry Potter-themed ones Simon owned which had made Bram realise Simon wasn’t kidding about his love for those books). Sometimes he contemplated leaving some of his clothes in Simon’s dorm, but he kind of liked the idea of sleeping in Simon’s clothes. He wondered if Simon would mind if he borrowed a shirt or two on occasion when they weren't sharing a bed.

“She’s honestly the absolute best,” Simon said. 

They got into bed and after some brief rehearsed adjustment, found a mostly comfortable position. The beds in the dorms were really only meant for one person, but Simon and Bram had long since mastered the art of finding exactly how to fit two full-sized male bodies on the twin-sized beds somewhat comfortably. It did involve staying pretty close, but that wasn’t something Bram would ever complain about. 

“I love you,” Bram said once he was comfortable. They’d said “I love you” a hundred times before - in emails, in person, and texts, but even now when he said it Bram felt his heart skip a beat. He couldn’t imagine what life would be like without Simon now - being with him was the best thing Bram had ever done. It might not have always been easy (sneaking around in dorms sometimes wasn't Bram's preferred way to sleep with Simon), but it was worth absolutely every second they were together. 

“I love you too,” Simon replied, and pressed a kiss to Bram’s cheek. “I’m so glad I emailed you.”

Bram couldn’t agree more - dating Simon after he’d already had feelings for Jacques almost felt like he was falling in love all over again. It made him feel like he was the luckiest guy in the world. 

“Best decision ever,” he said. 

//

_ Simon Spier  _

2:35 PM 15 August 2018

And I'm moved in with  _ Bram _ finally! Thanks to everyone who helped out with the move - you’re all the best. Can’t wait to start this new chapter of my life! - feeling excited :) with  _ Bram Greenfeld  _ and 4 others

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_ Bram Greenfeld _ ,  _ Emily Spier _ and 87 others liked this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're done - for real this time. Can't believe it's over - it's been so much fun to write this fic I'll be sad to see it go. Thanks so much to everyone who's supported it - in comments, kudos, bookmarking or even just reading on. I appreciate it all so much.
> 
> Also, Ethan doesn't actually have a surname in canon (and I couldn't find anything official anywhere), so I used the surname of the actor. Also shout out to University of Georgia's website for having so much info on how student dorms worked. 
> 
> Now, I'm gonna be working on another magical realism AU fic for these two. So if you liked this one keep an eye out for that sometime. I don't know when it'll b done, but probably within the next month or so depending. 
> 
> find me on tumblr @ [agentalien](http://agentalien.tumblr.com)


End file.
